Legging-Gate

The world is once again atwitter with something a blogger has to say. This time it’s an Oregon mom and her decision to abstain from leggings. Frankly, I don’t see what the fuss is about.

Partridge says at the very beginning of her blog post that she’s not trying to tell anyone else what to do. This is her story behind her choice. She is a Christian woman blogging about her life as a wife and mother and her relationship with God. No one should be surprised that modesty matters to this woman.

Her husband says what other men have been saying for years. Yes, certain individuals will stare regardless and Partridges acknowledges she can’t control that. She is just adjusting her wardrobe decisions so that she’s more comfortable.

I’m a liberal feminist but I kind of agree with her. I have always found the leggings as pants trend tacky because I'm not interested in your secret Victoria. There are some details I don't want or need about random women shopping at Trader Joe's. 

I have a pair of fleece lined leggings that are one step away from tights. Very little is left to the imagination. My personal rule is that if I’m wearing leggings, I must be able to cover up any potential camel toe.

Yoga pants can be better than leggings but it depends on the fit. Again, I tend to wear longer shirts when I’m rocking my track or yoga pants. It’s a more flattering cut for me and it’s what I’m comfortable with. Partridge isn’t deliberately shaming anyone and neither am I. We both have opinions on this trend and have adjusted our wardrobe accordingly.

It’s not just Partridge feeling the backlash about tamer wardrobe decisions. Taylor Swift embraces crop tops and shows a bit of stomach and everyone is clamoring about her belly button. It’s a bigger deal that Taylor Swift isn’t flashing more skin than Ariana Grande’s disinterest in performing in pants. How about we do a news story about why women choosing a bit of modesty is such a big frakking deal?

The feminist issue that comes into play is respecting women's decisions about their bodies. Both Partridge and I agree on this particular issue for somewhat different reasons but I understand her reasons and respect them. 

It's her body and her choice and she has not presented this in any other way. If you feel judged or shamed by what she or I are saying, that says more about you and your own insecurities than it does about us.

Why Scott Aaronson Was His Own Biggest Problem

The internet is blowing up with one mathematician, Scott Aarongson, explaining why he dislikes feminism and doesn't have any privilege as a white male nerd. A lot of people have a lot of different theories but a friend asked my thoughts on this one.

One of my favorite quotes from the article was: "Guys deal with Women in the abstract, as a category; women deal with specific men who physically threaten them " Aaronson was so wrapped up in his own personal anxiety that he failed to see any woman as a person. 

The more isolated be became in his own mind, the worse it got. It was all in his head and a lot of shy nerds are like that. If you approach a woman as just another human being to talk to, you'll be fine but you have to get out of your own way long enough to do that. 

Another problem was Aaronson's exposure to feminism. He opted for the extremes so the only version of feminism he got was the most militant stereotype so many of us aren't. He was, somewhat masochistically, choosing to hear one version of feminism that already reinforced the negative voice in his head.

The privilege he couldn't see would be going to STEM conferences and not worrying about sexual assault. His privilege of being taken seriously be sheer virtue in his field instead of being dismissed or second guessed. If Aaronson was sexually harassed at work, he'd be believed when he reported it instead of being questioned or told to simply deal. He will never have to worry about a colleague feeling entitled to his body.

Aaronson and others like him was so wrapped up in his own pain and suffering that he forgot other people are fighting a hard battle as well. He couldn't escape his own head long enough to understand that his personal issues aren't the concern of the world. Everyone else can't fix problems that exist in your own mind. Most people won't even know they exist. That's the beauty of depression and anxiety.

The bottom line is that your mental problems are just that, your problem. No one can fix them but you. There are people out there who can help but you have to be brave enough to ask. As someone with depression, it's a hard thing to do but it's worth it.

You'll have to excuse feminism and women for focusing on problems that directly effect a lot of women. Harassment of women in STEM fields is a real issue happening right now. Not all nerds have anxiety or like to pretend their awkward because it lets them get away with things but far too many do. Feminism is going to focus on making the STEM community better for all people instead of hold the hands of a few nerds with emotional baggage.