Why Scott Aaronson Was His Own Biggest Problem

The internet is blowing up with one mathematician, Scott Aarongson, explaining why he dislikes feminism and doesn't have any privilege as a white male nerd. A lot of people have a lot of different theories but a friend asked my thoughts on this one.

One of my favorite quotes from the article was: "Guys deal with Women in the abstract, as a category; women deal with specific men who physically threaten them " Aaronson was so wrapped up in his own personal anxiety that he failed to see any woman as a person. 

The more isolated be became in his own mind, the worse it got. It was all in his head and a lot of shy nerds are like that. If you approach a woman as just another human being to talk to, you'll be fine but you have to get out of your own way long enough to do that. 

Another problem was Aaronson's exposure to feminism. He opted for the extremes so the only version of feminism he got was the most militant stereotype so many of us aren't. He was, somewhat masochistically, choosing to hear one version of feminism that already reinforced the negative voice in his head.

The privilege he couldn't see would be going to STEM conferences and not worrying about sexual assault. His privilege of being taken seriously be sheer virtue in his field instead of being dismissed or second guessed. If Aaronson was sexually harassed at work, he'd be believed when he reported it instead of being questioned or told to simply deal. He will never have to worry about a colleague feeling entitled to his body.

Aaronson and others like him was so wrapped up in his own pain and suffering that he forgot other people are fighting a hard battle as well. He couldn't escape his own head long enough to understand that his personal issues aren't the concern of the world. Everyone else can't fix problems that exist in your own mind. Most people won't even know they exist. That's the beauty of depression and anxiety.

The bottom line is that your mental problems are just that, your problem. No one can fix them but you. There are people out there who can help but you have to be brave enough to ask. As someone with depression, it's a hard thing to do but it's worth it.

You'll have to excuse feminism and women for focusing on problems that directly effect a lot of women. Harassment of women in STEM fields is a real issue happening right now. Not all nerds have anxiety or like to pretend their awkward because it lets them get away with things but far too many do. Feminism is going to focus on making the STEM community better for all people instead of hold the hands of a few nerds with emotional baggage. 

The Thin of It

I loved this article about thin privilege. I can easily see thin or 'normal' women everywhere calling BS because society doesn't make them feel pretty which the article addresses perfectly. 

Can you eat ice cream without worrying you're being judged? During my sample of various ice cream shops in Annapolis it crossed my mind more than a few times that I was being judged. I saw a thin woman eating twice as much ice cream and I don't think she ever expected random strangers to think ugly things. My typical attitude of "fuck 'em" kicked it but that thought came from years of society pushing a thin ideal at us.

One of my friends wanted to do a matching cosplay for a con. I refused on the grounds that I didn't want to look like a before and after weight loss ad. Guys routinely ignored me for my typically pretty friends or were only nice to me on the grounds that they can't be jerks to the pretty girl's friend. Pointing this out to my friends either elicited pity or denial, neither of which is helpful.

Earlier this year I met someone who flirted with me and treated me like a desirable person, I didn't tell him about The Boy right away. It wasn't because I had bad intentions; it was because I wanted to experience what my friends experience every time they leave the damn house.

Some thin women might complain that 'real women have curves' shuts them out. Most body positive responses don't readily recognize thin as a valid body type but there is no fat or curvy privilege. People are slowly moving away from the wispy thin models and more toward fit or curvy women but it's a slow process.

I know women of all body types who are beautiful inside and out. We need to tell the media to shove it and avoid adversarial relationships with each other. Our biggest problem is that our value as people is based on whether we're the right body type.

Big men are teddy bears; big women are worthy of scorn. People can make fat jokes or say ugly things about their bodies to their face and it's fine. Men get some fit or thin privilege but it's no where near the disparity it is for women. We need to welcome body acceptance so that all women can be seen as people regardless of how we look.

Women are people and should always be treated as such. We can never forget that.