Don't Be That Creepy Guy

As many of you already know, I listen to The Kane Show in the morning. They have a bit called Loser Line where Intern John gives his old cell phone number to women. These women give that number to guys who can’t take a hint.

One of the guys who called heard a woman giving her number and address to someone else and called it. He never actually met her but really wanted to get to know her. When she doesn’t call him (probably within the hour) he calls back saying that he doesn’t think he should come to the address but would love to get a cup of coffee with her.

At this point Intern John calls him and tells him that the number isn’t real and he should not go to that address. Creepy McCreeperson actually says “But we had a connection.” In order to have a connection with someone, you have to interact with them.

Do not do this. Ever.

If we’re giving our number to another guy, use it as a segue to talk to us once he walks away. If we have not spoken to you or we’ve already turned you down, we do not want to hear from you. There is no circumstance where this will work out well for you. There is no way for this to be anything other than creepy and stalker-tastic.

If someone did this with my number, I’d block them. If someone showed up at my home, I’d call the cops. It is not sweet. It is not romantic. It is scary.

Music: Internet Friends by Knife Party