Poison the Well

It’s no secret I’m a big fan of Dear Prudie. A past column was from a woman who was convinced that her mother-in-law was poisoning her. Every time they were alone, her MIL made it clear that this woman knew how hated she was. Each time she returns from a function at the MIL’s house, the woman is struck with ‘digestive distress.’ Her husband is perfectly fine. 

From what the letter writer said, her husband didn’t believe her or just didn’t want to admit his mother could do that. Prudie advised asking her husband to switch cups and plates with her and see what the MIL’s reaction is. She also noted that the letter writer’s husband should take his mother’s hateful tirades seriously.

Prudie heard back from this woman in a recent column and sure enough, she was right. There were place settings for a dinner at the MIL’s and the woman switched the sauces at her husband’s and her places. By the time they got home, her husband was experiencing ‘digestive distress’ while she was completely fine. The following day she told her husband what she had done and “he looked at me with such hatred in his eyes that I knew he had known all along what his mother was up to.” 

The contemporary Ward Cleaver actually accused his wife of trying to poison him! Do people not listen to themselves when they talk? Your wife has told you time and again your mother says ugly things when you’re out of the room. Every time wifey eats mom’s cooking, she comes home ill but wifey is the villain because she tried to prove that her MIL is one twisted fuck?

I think the fact that she was telling her husband this and he wouldn’t believe her was very telling. It was even more telling that when Prudie suggested publically switching plates, the woman didn’t trust her husband enough to “bring him into my confidence.” If he’s not treating your concerns with any validity, that’s a problem. If he’s not dealing with the evidence that mommy weirdest may be poisoning you, that’s an even bigger problem. 

She says she’s finally left him but what I really want to know why she married him in the first place. Did MIL only turn evil after the wedding? I doubt it. Did her husband disregard all her opinions or just negative ones about his mother? (FYI, there is no right answer.) 

If my SO’s mother hated me so very much, I don’t know that I’d marry the person. If his mother said ugly things to me when we were alone, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him. I have nothing to gain from doing something like that and his reaction would tell me a lot. If he dismissed my concerns (basically calling me a liar), I’d dismiss him.

Current Music: Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2