TMII – Too Much Infant Information

My office had such a steady outbreak of fertility I’m now moderately paranoid about the cooler water. With so many people having new or young kids, I appreciate it changes your life. I like asking about people’s kids because they love talking about them, especially when they’re new. They’re always growing and changing and doing/saying something ridiculous.

Most of my friends are currently childless and unmarried so I’m saying this on behalf of them and to remind them since they’re likely to beat me to the parenthood stuff. I like getting updates on your baby/toddler but as a single person with dogs, you have to appreciate that there are just some things I don’t want to hear.

Unless we are close personal friends, I don’t want to hear about breastfeeding, pumps, milk, any of it. I have nothing to add to a discussion about chaffed nipples but discomfort. If I’m not regaling you with details about that wild board game weekend, we’re not close enough to talk about your boobs.

I know that a large part of new parenthood involves diapers, poop, and spit up. I know parents love trading gross stories. I own dogs. As long as their bowel movements are outside, I don’t care. My apathy towards your offspring’s bowel movements would astound you. Unless it’s part of a larger story or I directly ask, I really don’t want to know what is coming out of either end of your kid.

Show me pictures of them trying to wear their Easter basket on their head in their super cute outfit. Tell me how they spit up on your evil mother-in-law at brunch (because that’s hilarious). Tell me the ridiculous thing they said at daycare or nice thing they just destroyed. Babies are delightful. Just remember that there is such a thing as TMI.

Current Music: The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy

Fun with Lingo, Vernacular and Jargon

English is a language that ambushes other languages in dark alleys and picks their pockets for spare vocabulary. I can’t recall where I first heard that phrase but it’s true. Many languages have different words for the same thing like Eskimos and snow or the French and love. No one does it quite like English.

Why confuse someone when you can befuddle, bemuse, bewilder, perplex, or confound? Why annoy someone when you can vex, irk, rankle, aggravate, exasperate, pester, beleaguer, or torment them?

Why be sad when you could be morose, melancholy, glum, gloomy, or sullen? Why hate something when you can loathe, detest, despise, deride, disparage, spurn, scorn, abhor, and abominate it?

Why simply be happy when you could be contented, delighted, ecstatic, exultant, euphoric, buoyant, jubilant, jovial, and joyful? Why be angry when you can be irate, livid, seething, fuming, furious, incensed, enraged or cross?

I’d rather be grumpy, ornery, or cantankerous instead of irritable. If someone’s acting stupid, it’s much more fun to accuse them of being obtuse, daft, dippy, foolish, or idiotic. They’re not just being rude; they’re also being coarse, crude, churlish, boorish, brusque, surly, insolent, and vulgar. Something that’s ridiculous can also be ludicrous, farcical, preposterous, incongruous, or absurd.

Jerk is too simple a word for someone who’s being cretin, dolt, imbecile, dullard or asshat. The last one is more colloquial but it gets the point across. It could have been idiomatic or informal but I quiet like the word colloquial.

We’re not weird; we’re peculiar, eccentric, bizarre, zany, outlandish, unconventional, avant-grade, exceptional and quirky. We’re also not crazy; we’re mad, insane, barmy, wacky, madcap, and just a bit screwy.

Current Music: Stupid by Kacey Musgraves

Home Sweet Own Book 9

Nonfiction was The Man Who Loved Books Too Much by Allison Hoover Bartlett. I read the first few chapters in a book store when it first came out. I was glad to finally read it. It was a calm book. It had easy, slow pacing. It fit with the theme of books, reading, collecting. These are not hurried, fast paced things. In addition to history and some basic background, Bartlett presents us with an interesting cast of characters. She meets dealers, collectors, experts, shop owners, and, of course, the thief.

Gilkey reads as having a sociopathic personality disorder. He wants things he can’t have so it’s not fair. If getting what he wanted might have hurt people, he found a way to transfer the blame. There was no way, in his mind, that getting what he thought he deserved could be bad or wrong. Whether he deserved it was never a question.

He’s in no way sympathetic. I never rooted for him and wanted to see him fall. I hope every book he ever stole is taken from him. His story is interesting and deserves telling but it was never Gilkey I wanted to see prevail. I enjoyed seeing Sanders take him down. I wish it happened more often. It was an enjoyable read but only if speaks to you.

1) Fiction 

2) Nonfiction – The Man Who Loved Books Too Much by Allison Hoover Bartlett

3) Sci-Fi 

4) Fantasy 

5) Mystery 

6) Horror 

7) Memoir/Biography – Data, A Love Story by Amy Webb

8) Chick Lit – Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter

9) Feminist 

10) Teen 

11) Holiday 

12) Essays – What Was I Thinking? ed. by Barbara Davilman & Liz Dubelman

13) Short Stories 

14) Library 

15) Animal 

16) Book about Books 

17) New – Pitch Perfect by Mickey Rapkin

18) Old – Dark and Stormy Knights edited by P. N. Elrod

19) Pop Science 

20) Near 

21) Far 

22) Graphic Novel – Love and Capes: Do You Want to Know a Secret? by Thomas F. Zahler

23) Reread – Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

24) Wild Card 

25) Otherworldly Creature 

26) Free 

27) Noteworthy 

28) Bestseller 

29) Themed Anthology 

30) Steampunk 

31) Movie-Book 

32) Media  

33) Travel 

34) Food 

35) Classic 

36) Humor 

37) Poetry 

38) Past – Stasiland by Anna Funder

39) Future 

40) Dystopia/Post-Apocalyptic 

41) Zombie 

42) Sports

Current Music: Hate the Taste by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Get God or Get Gone

There’s a new pope. I don’t know if he’s said this in the past or as the new pope but he came out saying that marriage equality is a device used by the Prince of Lies to distract us from God’s message. (I’m paraphrasing but not by as much as you’d think.) I’m glad they finally got a pope who’s from somewhere other than Europe. Now they just need to get one from this century.

If the Catholic Church comes out against gay marriage, what else is new? Blaming it on Satan? Really? I think Lucifer has some civil wars in Africa and human right’s violations in Asia he’s pretty busy with at the moment. Maybe he can work with the gays when his schedule frees up.

It comes across as hypocritical since the Catholic Church spent a good bit of the 20^th century sponsoring the Pedophile Relocation Program. Two consenting adults getting married offends god because they’re the wrong gender but grown men of the cloth can touch little boys and that’s cool. I’m sure the Council of Nicea had a footnote in the Bible about protecting your own over the welfare of innocent children.

I have very little respect for the Catholic Church as an institution. These days the Vatican is a country within a city but for the better part of 1,000 years that church owned half of Europe. For centuries popes fathered children, sponsored bloody political coups, started crusades that tortured and slaughtered nonbelievers, and lavished themselves in decadence while others starved.

The Catholic Church has worked hard to tear down science for most of its prominence. It’s still working on that and probably will be for many years to come. The Catholic Church considers many women’s rights issues to be sins or crimes against God. As much hate as they have for women, it took them a while to notice one was in charge.

I know most of this because I went to a catholic high school and sat through a year of church history. The teacher was cool so I remember more than a bit. Boy did that backfire.

I’m sure the Catholic Church does plenty of good in the world. They have lots of programs and outreach and aid for places that might not otherwise get anything. I just question the quality of place that can have so much negative history and is all too happy to pretend it never happened.

I can already hear people saying that the pope is not responsible for the actions of every church official. If the head doesn’t know what the hands or feet are doing, what kind of organization are you running? If America starts some shit in another country, the President is responsible. If a corporation does something horrible, it’s on the people running it.

I know people who are Catholics who are decent human beings. I respect them and their faith in God. I don’t have to respect their faith or its leaders. IMHO, there are places to worship the holy trio that would be less offensive to Jesus.

Current Music: Losing My Religion by Lacuna Coil

Either Or

If you had to spend the rest of your life as a deckhand on a ship or as a librarian at a prestigious university, which would you choose?

There are some major details that would impact your decision. What sort of ship is it? What work does it do? Is it a competitive sailing ship? Is it a historic ship mainly docked in one port? Is it one of those super-massive cargo ships with a mostly Pilipino crew? Where is the university located? Would you be a research librarian? Would you focus on preservation and restoration? What’s the campus environment? Is it an Ivy League or more geared toward the sciences?

Let’s say it’s like the ship in the picture. It’s a sailing vessel that isn’t used for piracy but is used for either competition or business. It doesn’t spend most of the year in port. The library is for an Ivy League school in New England. You can choose your particular specialization.

The ship presents constant adventure. The crew would mostly stay the same but you’d always be going to new places, meeting new people, seeing new sights. Any place that’s ‘home’ would only be seen a brief part out of the year. You’d have to deal with potential cabin fever and always being stuck in the same small patch of world with the same crew but you could go anywhere. There’s also a greater risk for disaster: storms, damage to ship, viruses. All of that has to be dealt with using limited resources if you’re at sea and the sea is a harsh mistress.

The plus is the gorgeous expanse of open ocean full of exotic creatures like whales, sharks, flying fish and giant squids. If you don’t want to deal with a particular season, you can spend it somewhere else. If you know a storm is coming, you can find dock at a safe harbor and make for land. You come to love and hate and depend on your crew. They’ll become the closest thing you have to family.

The library you’re surrounded by some of the greatest works and greatest minds the world has to offer. You can get up close with historic and valuable books. You would have to deal with the everyday responsibilities of rent, food, and bills. You get to deal with interoffice pettiness and elitist students basking in nepotism. You have to deal with all four season worth of weather.

The plus is that you can help some of the best minds in the world. You can aid in PhD research, help guide new students to their passion, watch someone go from frustrated grad student to Nobel laureate. You can take advantage of all the sports, concerts, comedians, and great events you get on college campuses at cost. You have access  to some of the greatest selection of literature around. Having a job you enjoy, you get to put down roots and make a real home. Anchor yourself to people and places, make the university town your town.

I love the idea of nonstop adventure but the reality sounds somewhat exhausting. I would have a very hard time being rootless. I like having a home, friends, a life centered around one great place. Sometimes I really enjoy the quiet of everyday life.

Life on a ship could be like Firefly where you have some dull days and other days where you barely make it out alive. People enjoy escaping into that adventure but few could actually live it for long. Maybe that’s why The Doctor never has any companion for too long. Most people like having a home, seeing their family, going to places where they know your name.

Current Music: Happy in My Heartache by Josh Groban

Guess Who?

As some of you may recall, I dated someone last fall. He brought you the date where I wanted to hyperventilate and cry and the Single in the Shire episode. After Single in the Shire, I was ready to wash my hands of him. Because a friend called and told him what was up and he then apologized, I gave him another chance. Generally, I’m not big on second chances. Most people use them to do what they did the first time around. He was no exception.

He still had his second job and barely spoke to me. When I tried to talk to him, I got almost nothing which lead to me being frustrated. At one point I finally said “It helps if you actually text me back.” He shot back that he was at job one, late for job two and “no offense but now is not a good time.” Offense taken. Time to get the hand soap.

He called a few days later but we kept missing each other. When we finally did catch each other, he wanted to “go on a hiatus” because my text messages had “an annoyed tone.” That was the last I heard from him, until last night.

If you haven’t spoken to somebody in 5 months, this shouldn’t be your opener: “By the way, I am sorry that I hurt you. I really do hope we can still be friends in the future.” That needs to be said within a month or less of the actual break-up. Not only have we not spoken in much longer, there was no break-up.

Most men who pull this crap are too cowardly to come back. Either there was a recent inspiration or he wants something. I had to know why. When I asked he said “enough time had passed for some introspection and I decided I owe you an apology.” You do and that’s nice but I’m not buying it.

He’s still on the mailing list for my gaming group on MeetUp. He thought about me and everyone else there. He wanted to come back and thought he’d see if he would “be welcome or at least tolerated.” I told him I’d thought about deleting his profile on there and asked ‘was it really that hard to admit you wanted something.’ I also asked why my group since he’s over an hour away.

I told him off. He had my feelings, trust and respect and tossed them aside without a thought. I said the way he failed to end things was cowardly and if he wanted to cross this bridge again, he should have used less napalm when he burned it. When he finally did decide to apologize, he hid behind text messages.

It’s rare you get to tell off your douch-tastic ex while NOT looking like a complete psycho. It’s less satisfying over text but still felt pretty good.

His reply was that he respected my opinion but he wasn’t hiding behind text messages. As for ‘why my group’ he has friends in my group. He ended things the way he did because he was ‘tired of every conversation making me feel like a guest appearance on a daytime talk show.’ If I don’t want to accept his apology, that’s my prerogative.

We went from dating to can’t-be-bothered-to-pretend-to-care. No clue why I’d have an issue with that. And homeboy didn’t end things. At all. Ending and disappearing is not the same thing although they do have a similar end result. It’s a crappy way to treat anybody and a crazy way for someone you want as a friend. If any of my guy friends did this, I’d give him hell.

I don’t think he’s sorry for how he treated me. I think he’s sorry his actions have consequences he didn’t like. I told him about a few gaming places near him if that’s what he wants. If he wants to be friends with my friends, talk to them! I don’t have to like you. I just have to be civil if they like you and we’re at the same stuff.

I told him everything I said here. There are a few things I left out. I suspect he was dating someone from the haunted house, it went to crap, and she kept all the friends so he’s left crawling back to me. Regarding my rejection of his apology, I genuinely don’t believe he’s contrite and if he was that situation again, he’d do the exact same thing to someone else. No lessons were learned.

He’s not a bad guy. He couldn’t buy a clue if you gave him a map, directions, and a dollar but he means well. If I’d never dated him, we could be friends. But I did date him, he behaved abominably at the end, and apologized months later when he wanted something. If he winds up in my life by extension, so be it but like The Band Perry says, I miss him being gone.

Current Music: Love Interruption by Jack White