He still
had his second job and barely spoke to me. When I tried to talk to him, I got
almost nothing which lead to me being frustrated. At one point I finally said “It
helps if you actually text me back.” He shot back that he was at job one, late
for job two and “no offense but now is not a good time.” Offense taken. Time to
get the hand soap.
He called
a few days later but we kept missing each other. When we finally did catch each
other, he wanted to “go on a hiatus” because my text messages had “an annoyed
tone.” That was the last I heard from him, until last night.
If you
haven’t spoken to somebody in 5 months, this shouldn’t be your opener: “By the
way, I am sorry that I hurt you. I really do hope we can still be friends in
the future.” That needs to be said within a month or less of the actual break-up.
Not only have we not spoken in much longer, there was no break-up.
Most men
who pull this crap are too cowardly to come back. Either there was a recent
inspiration or he wants something. I had to know why. When I asked he said “enough
time had passed for some introspection and I decided I owe you an apology.” You
do and that’s nice but I’m not buying it.
He’s
still on the mailing list for my gaming group on MeetUp. He thought about me
and everyone else there. He wanted to come back and thought he’d see if he would
“be welcome or at least tolerated.” I told him I’d thought about deleting his
profile on there and asked ‘was it really that hard to admit you wanted
something.’ I also asked why my group since he’s over an hour away.
I told
him off. He had my feelings, trust and respect and tossed them aside without a
thought. I said the way he failed to end things was cowardly and if he wanted
to cross this bridge again, he should have used less napalm when he burned it.
When he finally did decide to apologize, he hid behind text messages.
It’s rare
you get to tell off your douch-tastic ex while NOT looking like a complete psycho. It’s less satisfying over text
but still felt pretty good.
His reply
was that he respected my opinion but he wasn’t hiding behind text messages. As
for ‘why my group’ he has friends in my group. He ended things the way he did
because he was ‘tired of every conversation making me feel like a guest appearance
on a daytime talk show.’ If I don’t want to accept his apology, that’s my prerogative.
We went
from dating to can’t-be-bothered-to-pretend-to-care. No clue why I’d have an
issue with that. And homeboy didn’t end things. At all. Ending and disappearing
is not the same thing although they do have a similar end result. It’s a crappy
way to treat anybody and a crazy way for someone you want as a friend. If any
of my guy friends did this, I’d give him hell.
I don’t
think he’s sorry for how he treated me. I think he’s sorry his actions have
consequences he didn’t like. I told him about a few gaming places near him if
that’s what he wants. If he wants to be friends with my friends, talk to them!
I don’t have to like you. I just have to be civil if they like you and we’re at the same stuff.
I told
him everything I said here. There are a few things I left out. I suspect he was
dating someone from the haunted house, it went to crap, and she kept all the
friends so he’s left crawling back to me. Regarding my rejection of his apology,
I genuinely don’t believe he’s contrite and if he was that situation again, he’d
do the exact same thing to someone else. No lessons were learned.
He’s not
a bad guy. He couldn’t buy a clue if you gave him a map, directions, and a
dollar but he means well. If I’d never dated him, we could be friends. But I
did date him, he behaved abominably at the end, and apologized months later
when he wanted something. If he winds up in my life by extension, so be it but
like The Band Perry says, I miss him being gone.
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