June Shopfessions

Kickstarter
The Doubleclicks - $10
Oh Joy Sex Toy - $20
We're Alive: Lockdown - $20

Clothes
Amy Pond Jacket - $58
Spider Gwen cardigan - $50.17
New Normal Apparel shirt - 57.92
Balloon Dress - $40
Surplice top - $32
LOC Pride and Prejudice tee - $28

MISC
eshakti shipping - $13
Kristyn Hippe EP - $8
In App expansion for Bonza - $3

Sold
Selling books - $38.44

With the offset, that brings my total spending to $301.65 for the month of June. Since I'll be sharing a closet with someone, I have no need to acquire more clothes. I will need to figure out how to share space and I don't know what the dress code will be for the next job/temp gig I have so there's no point in dropping money I don't have on clothing I'm not sure I'll use.

The Kickstarters I funded this go around were all ones I'd planned to invest in once I knew they were going to happen. I wanted to be a part of Oh Joy and have a personal investment in the other two.

I saw the Amy Pond jacket when I went to look at something I saw in the store window. I talked myself out of a lovely but impractical polka dot dress but I could use the jacket as a lazy Amy Pond cosplay since I already have a navy and white striped tank. As for the cardigan, I've seen 2 different designs on We Love Fine and watched them sell out. Not this time.

The New Normal Apparel I have no excuse other than it allowed me to wear leggings as pants. I just found out I had a new temp assignment that would pay the best money I've ever made and it should go on for a couple of months. Imagine my disappointment when it stopped after 3 days.

To celebrate unexpectedly getting another gig, I acquired a customized dress on sale from eshakti. With the customizing fee, it was about $40. Because I got more than one item, the top was 30% off and is enormously practical. After that gig ended abruptly, I went to the Library of Congress. It is one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen including the Vanderbilt mansions. They had a Pride and Prejudice tee exclusive to them that I couldn't resist picking up. I managed not to buy any books but that doesn't feel like quite the badge of honor I want it to be after looking at these numbers.

My big lesson from this month is that no matter how long they say a temp gig is for, it could end tomorrow. I can no longer trust what I'm told for the duration of any future assignments. No more celebrating. I'll celebrate by saving money since I'm moving in August.

On the upside, most of the major birthday I've got for the rest of the year are taken care of and I've got a head start on Christmas. I also got an influx of cash from selling books back. I've discovered 2 new apps that I'm hoping will allow me to sell books and clothes for cash. I'll keep you posted on how that goes. I'm hoping I won't be idle for too long but there's no guarantee that I won't be out of work for the next month.

PopSugar Reading Challenge Book 23 or Bedtime Stories for Adults

For a book of short stories, I read something I've had since Borders went under: Stories for the Nighttime and Some for the Day. I now officially love Ben Loory.

In his collection of fairy tales, Phillip Pullman talks about how characters in fairy tales are very one dimensional. They're there to move the forward without needing the depth and development of regular characters. So it is with Loory's short tales.

While many do not have the moral of fairy tales, they are powerful tales that resonate deeply within all of us. The haunting monster from The Swimming Pool, the simplicity from The Shadow, the message from The Afterlife Is What You Leave Behind, the faith from The Magic Pig, the wisdom from The Poet, and the tale of love from The End of It All. These are bed time stories for grown-ups.

Because the stories are both simple and complex at the same time, I read it in short bursts over a month and a half. It allowed me a chance to digest all of what lied in each story and appreciate before consuming more. There are tales of love as well as fear and can think of few who would walk away with nothing to appreciate from this small book.

PopSugar Book Challenge Book 22 or Why I'm Too Old for Some of This

For 'takes place in high school,' I knew there was only one place I was going to turn. John Green is an amazing writer. He could probably make the calorie information on a cereal box into compelling prose if he was so motivated. With Paper Towns due to be released very soon, I wanted to read the book before the move colored my idea of the book.

WARNING: Spoilers ahead.

Once again, John Green manages to create something that is absolutely wonderful. It's more than the story of a mysterious girl but of growing up and realizing there is more than one version of a person that exists. Q was a great narrator and I'm glad I got to see the story from his eyes. He was a little too obsessed with Margo for it to be totally healthy but I was able to enjoy the way he saw the world.

I couldn't like Margo. As a character in a novel, she's interesting, especially told through Q's eyes. In reality, she would be a melodramatic, self-centered pain in the ass who would care very little about the lives of those around her. I say this from experience.

She was bored with her life and need attention from her self-involved parents so she routinely went away leaving vague clues that weren't meant to be solved. She recruits Q before her latest disappearance and leaves some half-assed clues he wasn't meant to solve. When he does manage to solve them and they do find Miss Mystery, she ignores then before being a whiny little brat about it. She even admits to Q that she would have stolen his car had he not agreed to go along. Q wasn't a whole person to her just as she wasn't him. He was just an extra in the movie that was Margo.

The ending was absolutely perfect for both characters but even John Green wasn't capable of making me like Margo.

PopSugar Book Challenge Book 21 or Surreality TV

I'm bending the 'love triangle' rules because I've been wanting to read this. Reality dating shows have been creating love polygons for several years and The Bachelor's been doing it the longest.

I've read several 'tell alls' that didn't tell much. This wasn't one of them. Apparently Adrian Grenier is well hung and Courtney and Ben had great sexual chemistry, among other dish. Robertson did not skimp on many details including ones that made her look bad.

Editing plays a big role in who the audience sees as a villain and a good girl. A good example was when Ben announced everyone was going to Puerto Rico. In the episode, Courtney immediately said "I was just there." In reality, it was part of a normal post-toast conversation.

I maintain you have to give the choice soundbites like calling another girl a stripper but there's always more than meets the eye. I didn't realize some girls had to share a bed or how cliquey the girls were toward each other (though I'm not surprised). 

I felt like some of it was a public apology to some of the girls since she said some (not all) very nice things I doubt she meant. The rest of it was to tell her side, entertain the public, and improve her image. I appreciated her honesty about what was wrong in her relationships and the role she played.

A Gilmore Girl's Good Reads

Today BookRiot speculated what Rory would have read once the show was over. While I think they did a good job with that list, there's no way Rory would have stopped there.

For fiction, Rory would have enjoyed:

Commencement by J. Courtney Sullivan

Maine by J. Courtney Sullivan

The Engagements by J. Courtney Sullivan

The Rook by Daniel O'Malley

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

How to Build a Girl by Caitlin Moran

The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón

Love Begins in Winter by Simon von Booy 

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

The Wife by Meg Wolitzer

The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer

The Martin by Andy Weir

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

The Orphan Master's Son by Adam Johnson

Rory would be a little late to discover Neil Gaiman but would make up for lost time. Sullivan is an amazing feminist writer Rory would love. Zafón and von Booy have beautiful, poetic prose she'd adore. Several of the others are popular fiction she'd want to see what the buzz was about.

Rory was no fiction loyal list, here are some of the nonfiction titles she'd devour:

Nothing to Envy by Barbara Dermick

How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran

Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

Life Itself by Roger Ebert

The Good Girls Revolt by Lynn Povich

Eighty Days by Matthew Goodman

Popular by Maya Van Wagenen

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Orange Is the New Black by Piper Kerman

Yes Please by Amy Poehler

Bossypants by Tina Fey

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling

Notorious RBG by Irin Camron

Thank You for Your Service by David Finkel

Kerman, Hillenbrand, and Strayed would be the popular memoirs she'd want to judge firsthand. Poehler, Kaling, Fey, and Moran would be the brilliant funny women Rory would go for right away. Goodman and Povich because she's a fellow journalist. Ebert because her and Lorelai were such movie nuts.

Since Rory wanted to be a journalist, we can't forget the addition of recent political memoirs:

A Fighting Chance by Elizabeth Warren

The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama

Off the Sidelines by Kristen Gillibrand

Forgetting to Be Afraid by Wendy Davis

Hard Choices by HRC

Going Rogue by Sarah Palin

Rory is obviously liberal but she would want to know what Palin has to say because of her ability to produce choice soundbites.

PopSugar Reading Challenge Book 20 or I Do

I've been curious about Jen Doll's book for a while and she seems like an interesting woman so I checked off 'written by a female author' and saved the date. I was honestly a bit underwhelmed. For all the weddings she attended, I expected more emotion, more drama, and a bit more cohesion to the story of the rest of her life. I felt like Doll was playing everything very close to her chest, not letting us see too far into her world.

This reserved feeling was aided by the formal tone she took. It didn't feel like I was getting someone's life story but reading an essay from the New Yorker. I didn't feel like she was confiding in me or telling me the whole truth. Maybe that was just the nature of a memoir told about pieces of someone's life rather than the whole story. Maybe Doll wanted to keep some of it for herself.

Despite how often I heard about Ginny and knew the importance of Doll's loss of that friendship, there was almost no information about it. Ginny's husband was a jerk and had even talked about divorcing him with her parents but the reader's have no idea why. Whatever crimes her husband committed against her, Doll never gave the reader any details, any reason to hate him as much as she did. This felt like a big apology to Ginny.

It was an entertaining memoir but not as interesting as I expected.

A Graphic Year Week 23

I knew this was the direction they were taking the movies but I have a hard time seeing how one will have anything to do with the other. One of the biggest players in the comics was Reed from Fantastic Four and I think the movies are trying to keep those universes separate, as evidenced by the half-ass film to maintain rights to the franchise.

This story is very powerful. Doctor Strange said it best when he said that there was no right or wrong side, just the one with the least amount of collateral damage. After hundreds of innocent people die, mostly children, people turn on superheros. They are tired of masked vigilantes and people they can't hope to control. Tony Stark becomes the new front man for a movement to make all superheros paid government employees (SHIELD specifically). It will make them easier to regulate and control. Civilians will feel safer.

Captain America is the first to oppose this decision and many others soon follow. They have no interest in sacrificing their freedom for what people fear will become a fascist system. Will they still be able to determine the villains or become criminals when they no longer agree with who the government thinks are the bad guys?

Rather than fighting to protect the people, the heroes begin fighting each other.

One of the things I wonder is if the movies will be able to add enough heroes to make this fight seem screen worthy. There's a few extras from the most recent films but if they want enough for Civil War, they need Joss Whedon to stop killing off characters.

It's a very powerful story and one many people will relate to. It makes me think of the quote, "Those who would sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither." But superheroes often work above or beyond the law. Are they losing freedom when we ask them to live by similar laws as our own police or military force? I hope they do a good job of showing the fine balance they must strike here.

One character dies in this story to show a point of no return. There's no going back and people start to change sides after it happens. Will there be enough heroes to join the fight? Who will lose their life to give this story meaning?

The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same

Remember that new temp gig that had permanent possibility? The one that paid more money than I've previously made? That lasted 3 days.

There were a few valid reasons but it's disappointing because I let myself want to work there. It was a nonprofit making changes I actually care about. I let myself want this or think it could be something good. I feel like a colossal fool.

On Tuesday I turned down 2 different gigs since I thought this one was going somewhere. By my dismissal on Wednesday, they were filled. I turned down free tickets to a Mumford & Sons concert because I thought I had to get up early for work the next morning.

I really should have known better. It's not my life unless something is going seriously wrong. That's not me being self-pitying. It's just true. Cancer ridden parent growing up, manipulative boyfriend who helped kill my social life in college, extended periods of unemployment. I've got great friends and a wonderful boyfriend but I remain a cautionary tale for anyone who dare study liberal arts. I guess my purpose in life is to make other people feel better about their life choices.

I got an email yesterday about a phone interview today. I said I was very free and asked what time worked best for them. I haven't heard anything back. Who wants to take bets on if and when I hear back from them? As much as I'd like to work there and would rock at the job, I'm not feeling optimistic. That's just how things go for me.

All the Drama

For the last year or so, my group of friends has been having a lot of drama surrounding a friend we'll call Ralph. I was never crazy about Ralph. We’d sit next to each other at bar trivia or another event and he would ignore me. He would make no effort to engage me in any sort of conversation or acknowledge my existence. He also had an intense dislike of the person his best friend, Steve, was with. She was very similar to me (outspoken, strong personality). I suspected he disliked us for the same reason and just went about avoiding him.

Ralph’s intense dislike of his friend’s fiancée, Leigh, continued to the point where he confronted her with some old information from a questionable source. Rather than say he found some unsavory information and ask her to explain what happened, he attacked her. It was an inquisition and she was incredibly upset. Whatever higher ground he thought he had, he lost it by treating her like a criminal.

When I heard he wrecked his bike and suffered a few major injuries while riding on a trail at night, I posted a get well soon on his social media but didn’t like him enough to go visit him. As far as I knew, he wouldn’t much enjoy my company anyway. Once his bones knit, he needed to go to physical therapy. Despite his rudeness, Leigh took him to physical therapy several times. She was nothing but nice to Ralph.

At a holiday party where Steve was in attendance but Leigh was not, Ralph was more than willing to tell several of us that he didn’t approve of the union. I liked Leigh and told him that she’d had a really positive impact on Steve’s behavior and life in general. Ralph wasn’t willing to see beyond what he wanted in a woman and consider what Steve wanted or what was best for him. If Ralph didn’t approve of it, it was wrong. No matter how nice Leigh was to Ralph, he wouldn’t stop badmouthing her behind her back.

Ralph was the main organizer of a very popular MeetUp of over a few thousand people. It was how I knew him. However, it was a geek/nerd/fandom centered group and Ralph openly told people he didn’t identify thusly. He was also not the only organizer, just the most active one. This past January, he changed the name of the MeetUp to something vague, nondescript, and forgettable. People were pissed.

It’s not that he wanted to change the name, it’s that he didn’t bother to speak with anyone about it including the rest of the group leadership. None of the members were consulted and we wanted our voices heard since we were invested in the group. In addition to ignoring the voices of anyone who didn’t agree with him, Ralph tried to rip the genre center out of the group. He claimed it was to grow the group but no one was buying it.

In addition to steady growth over the last couple of years, Ralph had burned through most of the dateable members of the MeetUp. Everyone suspected he was trying to get a fresh crop of women for him to pick through. It really didn’t help his cause when he said part of the reason he dropped the ‘geek/nerd/dork’ label was because some people considered it derogatory. It was bad when he disregarded the thoughts of group members because we didn’t organize anything. It was worse when he essentially insulted us.

While Ralph was fighting with the membership, he was also fighting the leadership, who were being rather diplomatic. One offered to do a survey to not only gauge the reaction to the name change but also see what the members wanted more of, less of, etc. Ralph said that was fine but he wasn’t changing the name back. Despite several attempts to help him save face, Ralph escalated the situation so that the only thing he could do was publicly apologize or leave the group. Rather than sacrifice his precious pride and listen to other people, he took his toys and left. Ralph started his own generic group which I’ve heard was doing OK but not as well as the group he alienated.

Ralph still had his friendship with Steve. Despite his continue rude and immature behavior, Leigh was still accommodating to Steve, even inviting him to her birthday party. Ralph spent 90% of his time there ignoring the other guests speaking only to Steve and not saying goodbye to Leigh when he left. Rather than try to accept the numerous olive branches Leigh offered him and try to be civil for the sake of Steve, Ralph persisted in making things difficult.

Ralph was the best man in Steve’s upcoming wedding, though I suspect this was mostly due to their history. As the wedding festivities began, Ralph made it clear that he was not going to be the best man for anything. He did not plan any sort of bachelor party for Steve because he ‘wasn’t good at that sort of thing.’ (Really Mr. MeetUp? No one was going to buy that.) The job fell to the male counterpart to a couple Steve and Leigh had become close to during the Ralph drama. Ralph came to the event late, left early, and wasn’t all that pleasant while he was there.

The final straw came when Ralph said he couldn’t make the rehearsal a couple of days before it happened. He knew when the event was for several weeks but waited until the last minute to say he had to skip it. Steve was done. Ralph was out of the wedding party. He would be welcome as a guest but Steve had run out of patience for Ralph’s refusal to participate. The wedding is this Saturday. This may be the only time when most of the people in attendance have cause to say “Thank gods this wedding is dry.”

One of our friends tried to advocate for him since he’s had a crappy year. To paraphrase, ‘he wrecked his bike and body. He tried to grow the group but got booted out instead. Now he has to watch his friend marry someone who he knows in his heart of hearts is wrong for him.’ I won’t disagree that it has not been a good year for Ralph but most of it is his own fault.

He made the poor decision to ride on a trail when it was dark. While he didn’t deserve his injuries, I doubt he took any ownership of them either. While he had his reasons, selfish or not, for trying to change the MeetUp group, his arrogant methods backfired. Rather than apologize, listen, or sacrifice any pride, he turned on his heel, nose high in the air, and stomped off.

It became clear when Ralph displayed his complete lack of maturity when he tried to take over a MeetUp event he’d previously run. Promising we wouldn’t use any of his previous work wasn’t good enough. When we made it clear we weren’t interested in his help, Ralph tried to manipulate Steve into forcing the event to go the way he (Ralph) wanted it to. Steve bowed out rather than be stuck in the middle.

As for his friend marrying the wrong person, Ralph is the only person I can think of who isn’t supportive of this union. Steve has become a more likable person since Leigh has been in his life. Before, I usually wanted to punch him in the throat inside half an hour. Now, I just want to kick him in the shins once or twice an event and move on. Leigh hasn't had the easiest road but Steve loves and supports her. They make each other happy and bring out the best in each other. 

As someone who has watched friends date obviously wrong people, you can’t talk them out of loving someone. You certainly can’t talk them out of it by blatantly telling them they’re wrong. Speak your piece as kindly as you can and move on. Instead of making peace with the situation or accepting one of the many olive branches offered, Ralph persists in hating Leigh.

Both the bride and I agree their friendship is basically over. Steve was willing to try but Ralph wasn’t interested in making any sort of effort on behalf of anyone but himself. It hasn't been a good year for him but he's the reason why. While I'm happy for Leigh and Steve, I'm worried for what this wedding will bring.

Now for a Little Something Different

I got a call last Thursday from a staffing agency based in New Jersey. They wanted to submit my resume for an interesting position with an important cause for good pay. I said “Of course” and immediately brushed it off. I had no expectations of hearing anything back except “No.” Sitting in my car after the call I realized this is what giving up looks like.

No one was more surprised than me when I got a call on Friday when I got the gig. I remember thinking, “Wait. Is this allowed?” Because the universe has a sick sense of humor, I finally got a call from one staffing agency that kept me busy last time but let me down this go around. They wanted me to do an interview next week. The same week I was supposed to start the new temp gig.

There’s a lot of training that still has to happen and I only vaguely understand what’s going on but I really like the cause and change the nonprofit is trying to do. It’s something I can absolutely get behind but I lack a lot of relevant experience. I was pretty shocked when my manager gave a suggestion that this could be permanent. I think the interview might be helping my cause. I have no expectations going in but it would be nice to have more time to think about my situation before things went from a depressing 0 to an immediate 60.

At this point, I’m just hoping for something good that I won’t royally screw up.

A Graphic Year Week 22

For this week's graphic novel, I read the Curls trade that I picked up at Awesome Con. I had a postcard from the webcomic on display at my last cubicle. All of the strips were funny so I thought I'd give it a shot.

This was definitely the early stuff because nothing from the postcard was included. It was a combination of the college stuff and everything she'd done up until 2009. It had a similar sort of wacky humor as Devil's Panties but you could definitely tell Belefski was still finding her footing. We did get to meet several of the reoccurring characters such as the penguin, turtle-necked turtle, and toast. 

I was a bit silly but in a fun way. I look forward to reading her newer stuff in the next volume she releases.

PopSugar Reading Challenge Book 19

For a book recommended by a friend, I read The Rook by Daniel O'Malley. It was recommended to me by several friends.

WARNING: Contains minor spoilers

O'Malley created a rich and complicated world with inventive characters, enemies, and abilities. It grabbed me from the first line "The body you're in used to be mine." It never stopped moving.

Myfawny (pronounced Miffany because Welsh) Thomas comes to in a park surrounded by bodies. A letter in her coat pocket begins to explain what is going on. Now she must figure out who she is, who wishes her harm, and how to handle her day job as an official at the Checquy, the secret agency that handles supernatural threats against Britain.

While this book seemed a bit daunting, it never felt long. I loved every page and nothing felt unnecessary or excessive. There's so many little details that helped everything click into place like the scarring on Myfawny's throat, Grantchester's concern with the residence decor, or the heart in a box. O'Malley treated the reader as intelligent and capable from the outset but never giving us more than we could handle.

I enjoyed the balance of live action and letters of Thomas past. We got a nice blend of Myfawny as she was and who she was becoming in a way that built more suspense and tension. If you don't mind the supernatural in your fiction, go out and read this right now.

The year is officially half over and I'm not even halfway done yet. It's 52 books if you count the trilogy and I've got a ways left to go. I seriously wonder if I'll be able to finish this.

May Shopfessions

Kickstarter
Little Free Library Kickstarter - $44
Rain of the Ghosts Audioplay - $25
Amber Skye EP - $10
MAE Graphic Novel - $50
Broken Frontier - $40

Books
BN - $13.70
BN -$31
Politics and Prose - $45

Clothes
Ruth Badass Ginsburg - $26.59

MISC
Nightwish album - $11.99
Inside Amy Schumer MakeUp song - $1.29
Portal 2: The (Unauthorized) Musical - $5.04

Refunds/Returns
Hot Topic + $42.59
Sold Books + $25.88

I have learned I'm just as dangerous on Kickstarter as I am on other retail sites. Kickstarter has the added bonus of helping a cause or some cool media that might not otherwise exist. I wasn't sure if all of them would get funded but everything came through at the end.

The RBG was an oatmeal unisex tank that was on sale and the last tank top I'll need for summer. After RBG's glorious showdown about gay marriage, I wanted to represent. I'm waiting until I have income again before I get a Notorious RBG shirt.

One of my 2 BN runs were with a gift card and a coupon but it still wasn't great. I felt bad enough that I wound up returning one of the books. Progress? Politics and Prose was from a night with Neil Gaiman. I paid full price for Trigger Warning and Ocean at the End of the Lane but they were autographed. I regret nothing.

My friend got me tickets for the Nightwish concert and they're touring this album. I tried to hold out to get it with Viggle points but they hadn't stocked it in the store after a month so I caved and bought it. The worst part of it was that I got food poisoning and couldn't go to the concert. BF filmed over 30 minutes of footage so I didn't totally miss out.

As for getting money back, I got a Hot Topic return processed (finally) and got a check from selling some of my books. However, there was a con at the end of this month. Inevitably, I did some damage.

Awesome Con Haul
Zorphbert & Fred - $30
Never Have I Ever card game - $25
How to Train Your Dragqueen - $22
Don't Blink Tank - $20
Curls comic - $15
The Shadow of the Gauntlet by Casey Caracciolo - $15
Live Long and Suck It tee - $15
Pirate Eye - $10
Partholon by D. Krauss - $10

Baron Syndicate - $5

Total: $167

I had a cash budget of $120-130. I didn't keep exact track but my plan as to stop shopping when I ran out of cash. This worked reasonably well until I saw Never Have I Ever the card game. I wound up combining my gift budget with my personal fun budget and gave myself some wiggle room on my credit card.

I didn't need any of the shirts but they made me smile. When vendors remember you, it definitely motivates you to spend money. I am astonished by how many vendors remember me. D. Krauss saw me when I was getting worn out and let me chill at his booth for a while. I gave him some banana chips and we talked about dogs.

This brings my grand total of unnecessary spending to $402.14. Ouch. And I just got the wireless bill and my COBRA bills. This is less than ideal timing. I really need money. I've got to hit up that vendor who wanted a pair of my earrings.