Monday, February 25, 2013

Wicked Faire

I know this is a little overdue but it’s going up now. I went to Wicked Faire in New Jersey last weekend!

The best way to describe it is that a RenFest and a Con had an interesting lovechild. I’ve heard it’s gotten tamer in recent years but it’s my first so I have nothing with which to compare it. It was split between two hotels, the Time Traveler’s Hotel and the Wicked Hotel. A shuttle ran back and forth between both.

This set-up was less than optimal because the hotel where my friend and I stayed was treated as an ‘over flow’ hotel. This meant that the entertainment was not at all comparable to the Wicked hotel. I think they folks running the show would do well to distribute the talent and panels more evenly.

The vendors are both places were great. The Bee Folk form RenFest were there so I stocked up on soap and got bamboo honey. I bought a bunch of great garb (never thought I’d look good in a drop waist), know a new corset I want order (they didn’t have my size so I wasn’t compelled to spend that much up front), and found a Jayne hat! I was serenaded when I wore it. Try that in a Nationals cap : P

The Wicked hotel also had a ball pit. That was crazy amounts of fun. The only downside is that when you’re 5 and people throw balls at you, it doesn’t hurt much. When adults do it, they give it a little more oomph.

Speaking of an abundance of balls (you try coming up with a better segway), I went to speed dating on Friday night. I told all my friends I was going for one reason. To hell with finding a date or someone to bankroll my meals that weekend. I wanted a good story. Ask and you shall receive.

I was the only girl.

It ended up being one of my shameless Rennie friends and one very sweet guy from New Jersey vying for my attention. The Rennie friend thought I had a boyfriend and was pleased to know I was fair game. When the Rennie and I went to leave, the NJ guy made one last ditch effort. He did a few magic tricks involving foam balls.

To paint you a picture, R and I are about to wander off to another event but I wait to see this guy’s show. R is behind me, has his arm around my waist while the other guy is doing the tricks in my hands. It was probably awkward if you weren’t me. If you were me, it was rather entertaining.

Voltaire
One of the big draws to the event was Voltaire. If you don’t know him, take a moment to Google him and listen to a song or two. I’ll wait.

He did a reading from his new book, due out in May, The Call of the Jersey Devil. The tag line: “Five suburban mall rats and a washed up goth singer find themselves stranded in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey where they discover two horrifying truths: The Jersey Devil is real and New Jersey (as many already suspected) is the gateway to Hell.” Every time he mentioned the singer, he would dramatically mouth, “That’s me.”


He did a great job with the inflections and voices. If there’s an audio book, I pray he does it. I would so buy that. He really gave the third of the book he read a lot of humor. I’m a sucker for being read to, especially when the reader does voices. Apparently it has it’s sad moments: “There are parts that are really sad to the point where I still cry and I fucking wrote it. What’s that say about me?” That it isn’t easy to kill your darlings.

The book actually started out as a screenplay. Everyone who read it loved it but said that it was a big blockbuster movie. Voltaire wanted to do it in the retro style of 1980s horror movie monsters where “Hell is a barn with a red light and a smoke machine.” He did the book to help generate interest in the screenplay.


Apparently the transition from screenplay to book is not the easiest in the world. To paraphrase, a screenplay will say ‘scene opens, night in Pine Barrens’ where  as a book has to paint the vivid picture film serves up on a platter.

During the reading he asked the time and it was 2:56, he had such a reaction that he promised the story after. When Voltaire was a kid, he wanted to do the stop motion animation but he couldn’t get the materials. Then he had this dream where he came upon a shop full of glass display cases of these stop motion creatures. He saw his favorite, a Cyclops from Sinbad (I think) and looked up to see the price on the bottom. It just said 256. No symbols, just those three numbers.

He wakes up, ends up telling the story to his sister’s New Jersey Italian boyfriend. The BF recommends they play the lottery and realize the numbers have already been drawn. Voltaire calls to see what the winning numbers are. They are 2, 5, and 6. He tells the sister’s BF who responds, “Don’t bust my balls.” Voltaire swore that he would never forget the look on that guys face when they called back.

Other fun quotes from the event included, “It’s like Justin Bieber saying, “This song doesn’t suck. Let me help you with that.” Poor Justin Bieber. Everyone needs to stop hating on Justin Bieber, myself included.” Like that will ever happen.

I also attended his concert. It was really fun. This Way to Egress was his back-up band. He of course did a bunch of his dirtier stuff like ‘The Trouble with Tribbles,’ ‘Zombie Prostitute’ and ‘Dirtiest Song that Ain’t.’ The last one required some fun call backs from the audience.



Of course he also did some of the less offensive stuff like ‘Mechanical Girl’ and ‘Death Death(Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil Song).’ What makes it funny is that it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. He also did a song from his upcoming album ‘Raised By Bats.’ It ties into Call of the Jersey Devil. The washed up goth singer fronted the band Raised By Bats. I’m looking forward to it.

He closed with my favorite, ‘The USS Making Shit Up As We Wish.’ He makes fun of every incarnation of Star Trek. The man did his homework for that one. He’d been drinking so much throughout the course of the day that he forgot the bonus verse for the latest movie. Someone had to get on stage with a phone. It was hilarious.

The next day I got to meet him. I was at the Wicked hotel to check out the ball pit and I saw him talking to a woman. I stood off the side and he was nice enough to take a picture with me. He actually took it himself.



And for those of you wondering, I was wicked enough to have a good time but not wicked enough to be embarrassed about it later. If you want me to take my clothes off, you have to earn it. What I’ll do with them on…well, that’s another story.

Current Music: When You’re Evil by Voltaire

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Home Sweet Own Book 7

Chick lit is an extremely popular sub-genre of fiction. I’m always trying to find one that not only interests me but seems interesting and different. Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter seemed to fit the bill.

Emily goes on a Jane Austen book tour to skip going on a booze fueled trip to Mexico with her friend Stella. Throughout the course of the trip Emily goes deeper into Austen’s works than ever before...

One thing I immediately liked was that it wasn’t about how Emily’s single and must find a man like so many other chick lit novels out there. Like Austen’s Elizabeth Bennet, Potter had Emily’s journey to love include a journey of self-discovery.

I figured out almost immediately that there would be story overlap with Price and Prejudice. It was charming in places and in other places it kind of beat you over the head. If someone is smart enough to read P&P, they’re smart enough to get the parallels without a lot of help.

In short, it’s better than your average chick lit. It goes a little deeper with its characters and gives them more in their lives but it’s not drastically smarter.

1) Fiction 
2) Nonfiction 
3) Sci-Fi 
4) Fantasy 
5) Mystery 
6) Horror 
7) Memoir/Biography – Data, A Love Story by Amy Webb
8) Chick Lit – Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter
9) Feminist 
10) Teen 
11) Holiday 
12) Essays – What Was I Thinking? ed. by Barbara Davilman & Liz Dubelman
13) Short Stories 
14) Library 
15) Animal 
16) Book about Books 
17) New – Pitch Perfect by Mickey Rapkin
18) Old 
19) Pop Science 
20) Near 
21) Far 
22) Graphic Novel – Love and Capes: Do You Want to Know a Secret? by Thomas F. Zahler
23) Reread – Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
24) Wild Card 
25) Otherworldly Creature 
26) Free 
27) Noteworthy 
28) Bestseller 
29) Themed Anthology 
30) Steampunk 
31) Movie-Book 
32) Media  
33) Travel 
34) Food 
35) Classic 
36) Humor 
37) Poetry 
38) Past – Stasiland by Anna Funder
39) Future 
40) Dystopia/Post-Apocalyptic 
41) Zombie 
42) Sports

Current Music: Buy You a Life by Young Dubliners

Thursday, February 14, 2013

What You Read Is What You See

It’s remarkable how many movies are based on books. Makes you wonder if there are any original ideas left in Hollywood. Everyone knows certain writers who are known for their movie/books like

Jane Austen
John Grisham
Stephen King
Nicholas Sparks (try to get through Target or WalMart without seeing one of his books)

And everyone knows the bestsellers like

Blade Runner
Bridget Jones’s Diary (which was inspired by Pride & Prejudice)
Eat, Pray, Love
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Harry Potter
Life of Pi
The Lovely Bones
Twilight saga
Water for Elephants

But what about

American Psycho
Casino Royale (and many other Bond movies)
Clueless
Die Hard
Dr. Strangelove
Full Metal Jacket
Goodfellas
A History of Violence
I Am Legend
John Carter (Makes a little more sense now, doesn’t it?)
Jumanji
K-PAX
Legally Blonde
The Manchurian Candidate
Mean Girls
Minority Report
Pay It Forward
The Pianist
Pitch Perfect
The Princess Bride
Psycho
The Social Network
Stardust
V for Vendetta
The Walking Dead
White Oleander

Breach, a DC based spy thriller, started as an unpublished manuscript. I don’t think it ever made it into book form. Legally Blonde is currently out of print as far as I know. I’ve only ever seen it during the short window when I bought my copy ages ago. 

Many times the original idea was based on a book but then the movie franchise/mini-series/TV show developed a life of its own. I touched on some based on comics but if I delve too deep (*cough*superheroes*cough*), we could be here all week.

Current Music: The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress by Josh Groban

Home Sweet Own Book 6

My 'new' book was Pitch Perfect by Mickey Rapkin. I bought this book for a song from a discount website at the end of last year. I figured it would be best to get ‘new’ out of the way so I don’t have an excuse to buy something for it six months from now.

This tells the story of three collegiate a cappella groups and so much more. Rapkin gives you a behind the scenes look at the competitions, the history of the music, and if there’s a cappella life after college. He also tells the story of the students in the groups and how it impacts the music, the gigs, and the group as a whole. You don’t fully appreciate what an industry this is until Rapkin takes you on this journey.

My only complaint was the gender break down. Co-ed groups are just as prevalent but the focus was on an old school traditional male group, a newer laid back male group, and an all female group. Because the relationship of the singers greatly factored into the story, I would have loved to have seen that dynamic.

It dragged in places but I was also very distracted whilst trying to read it. If you’ve already seen the movie (worth a rental BTW), you’ll definitely see where some of the story comes from. I enjoyed it. It wasn’t pitch perfect but it definitely wasn’t pitch black.

1) Fiction 
2) Nonfiction 
3) Sci-Fi 
4) Fantasy 
5) Mystery 
6) Horror 
7) Memoir/Biography – Data, A Love Story by Amy Webb
8) Chick Lit 
9) Feminist 
10) Teen 
11) Holiday 
12) Essays – What Was I Thinking? ed. by Barbara Davilman & Liz Dubelman
13) Short Stories 
14) Library 
15) Animal 
16) Book about Books 
17) New – Pitch Perfect by Mickey Rapkin
18) Old 
19) Pop Science 
20) Near 
21) Far 
22) Graphic Novel – Love and Capes: Do You Want to Know a Secret? by Thomas F. Zahler
23) Reread – Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
24) Wild Card 
25) Otherworldly Creature 
26) Free 
27) Noteworthy 
28) Bestseller 
29) Themed Anthology 
30) Steampunk 
31) Movie-Book 
32) Media  
33) Travel 
34) Food 
35) Classic 
36) Humor 
37) Poetry 
38) Past – Stasiland by Anna Funder
39) Future 
40) Dystopia/Post-Apocalyptic 
41) Zombie 
42) Sports 

Current Music: Iris by The Faux Paz

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Be Careful What You Ask For...

I heard something on the radio today about Valentine’s Day that translates to the rest of the year. They were doing a ‘bad Valentine’s Day’ call in and one girl complained that he didn’t get her anything. This was undone when she revealed that she told the guy “Oh, I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day.” (Insert birthday or anniversary for roll over effect.)

I’m a woman and I continue to find this profoundly stupid.

It’s always the same argument of “I don’t want to have to tell him to get me something. I want him to know.” I want to have Florence Welch’s voice and Paris Hilton’s bank account. If wishes were horse we’d all be eating steak.

You can’t get what you don’t ask for. If you’re not willing to ask for it, you have no right to bitch when you don’t get it. At the very least you have to tell him that you expect something on [special occasion].

Men aren’t psychic or exceedingly romantic. If my dating experiences have taught me anything, it’s that men are neither mind readers nor characters from Nicholas Sparks novels. I have never met a man who acted like a romantic protagonist of his own free will. If you have, he’s the exception and not the rule.

One listener said this was a slap in the face. The truth hurts.

If you’re with one of the millions of guys who aren’t naturally romantic, you have two choices. You can try to train him what you find romantic or dump him and try to find Prince Charming.

If you choose to go the Charming route, I would like to point out that in more than one instance the prince is meant “to be charming, not sincere.” In the Fables series he’s been married and divorced three times. Also, the odds of him being completely single are slim.

I hope everyone has a decent day tomorrow. If you’re celebrating, I hope it doesn’t suck. If you’re wearing black and gray and saying “Bah! Lovebug!” like me, have a happy Thursday.

Current Music: Wonderland by Natalia Kills

Home Sweet Own Challenge Book 5

I may have gone against my best effort and made an impulse purchase but I made good on it and I read it PDQ. Not only that, I liked it.

Most of us have tried on-line dating. All of us have wanted to game the (clearly) flawed system. Amy Webb was one of the few dedicated enough to do it. After many unsuccessful dates, Webb logged in the site as a man to figure out who her competition was and what made that woman so appealing.

After extensive research, data collection, list making, and several spreadsheets, Webb figured out how to make a ‘super profile.’ She figured out key words, photo rules, and how to use just the right amount of spin.

I really enjoyed going on Ms. Webb’s wild ride. She was funny, smart, and pretty relatable. I commiserated with her on her bad date stories and insecurities. One thing I respected her more for was that she recognized her insecurities and did something about it. Few things are more annoying than a woman who bitches about how she looks and then does nothing about it. I was pleased when she got her happy ending. Not all of us get those so I’m glad her method worked.

I also enjoyed the pointers and tips she gave for anyone who wants to use her system. If I ever feel the masochistic urge to try on-line dating again, I’m definitely taking some of her advice.

1) Fiction 
2) Nonfiction 
3) Sci-Fi 
4) Fantasy 
5) Mystery 
6) Horror 
7) Memoir/Biography – Data, A Love Story by Amy Webb
8) Chick Lit 
9) Feminist 
10) Teen 
11) Holiday 
12) Essays – What Was I Thinking? ed. by Barbara Davilman & Liz Dubelman
13) Short Stories 
14) Library 
15) Animal 
16) Book about Books 
17) New 
18) Old 
19) Pop Science 
20) Near 
21) Far 
22) Graphic Novel – Love and Capes: Do You Want to Know a Secret? by Thomas F. Zahler
23) Reread – Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
24) Wild Card 
25) Otherworldly Creature 
26) Free 
27) Noteworthy 
28) Bestseller 
29) Themed Anthology 
30) Steampunk 
31) Movie-Book 
32) Media  
33) Travel 
34) Food 
35) Classic 
36) Humor 
37) Poetry 
38) Past – Stasiland by Anna Funder
39) Future 
40) Dystopia/Post-Apocalyptic 
41) Zombie 
42) Sports 

Current Music: Love Song by Sara Barielles

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Lyrical Content


Back during the RenFest I briefly met a friend of a friend. We texted but I was in a weird place with someone I had been dating. The fact that he reminded me of certain ex-boyfriends didn’t help. The mutual friend saw him Super Bowl Sunday night when she was going somewhere. He asked if I was going to be at her event.

When I say I briefly met him, I mean we spent maybe 20 minutes chatting in September. If I made that much of an impression, I know I should call him. It’s rare for anyone to find someone who thinks they’re special. The problem is I just can’t make myself do it.

Some of the songs from earlier entries say it better than I can.

My head is telling my heart to let love grow and my heart is telling my head “Very much no.” I’m not up for being a victim of love. Most guys I’ve dated, all I wanted was him but it became clear I wanted him more. I’ve never seen the inside of love but I gave up the fight, wrong or right.

Last month I deleted my OKC account and shut down my give-a-damn. So far I’ve heard variants of ‘You just haven’t found the right guy’ and ‘This is the time when you’re most likely to meet someone’ and ‘My ___ was [age older than mine] before they met someone’ and ‘You just have to keep putting yourself out there and love will find you’ and, my personal favorite, ‘This won’t last long.’

I know there’s a cliché or two I’m forgetting. Basically it’s the exact same stuff I’ve heard before but am too tired to pretend to believe it.

I wouldn’t say I’ve been damaged by love but it’s made me a morbid romantic at best. Never say ‘never again’ but for now, I’m giving up on love, it’s so overrated. I think I’m better off alone.

Current Music: Cupid’s Got a Shotgun by Carrie Underwood

Bonus: If you can figure out the 11 songs I borrowed from in this entry, you get a cookie.