I have a lot of friends who are
nerds. Not the nerd-lite that’s trendy but the reason for the stereotype. Some
are fine in social situations but less optimal in romantic ones.
Here are some of the biggest mistakes
I’ve seen nerds and Aspies do when trying to woo a woman. Don’t be that guy.
Don’t Hover or Cling
This is one of the biggest mistakes
I’ve seen nerds do. Attraction is not a
war of attrition. You can’t make her interested by tethering yourself to her
side. You can, however, make yourself seem very creepy.
Walk Away
If you’re at a bar or out with a
group, talk to her for about 20-30 minutes and then find an excuse to walk
away. Refill your drink, go greet a friend, or talk to someone else. If she’s
still around and smiles at you when you come back, you’re in. If her face doesn’t
look happy to see you again, abort the mission.
Ask Her Out
Another huge mistake I’ve seen
repeated is guys who show clear interest in a woman and do nothing about it. We
know what exactly you want. We’re just not interested in doing your job for
you. If you’re not brave enough to ask
for it, you don’t deserve to have it.
Respect Her Answer
If she says no politely, respect her
answer. Remain friendly but don’t carry a torch or try to change her mind. It’s
desperate and ineffectual, if not a little creepy. If she rudely rebuffs you
then she wasn't that nice anyway.
Assume Her Boyfriend Is Real
I have seen guys continue to pester
a woman even after she admits to having someone else in her life. One persisted
even after meeting him. Assume all significant others mentioned are real. Either
she’s unavailable or trying to turn you down as nicely as possible.
Learn Body Language
If you’re an Aspie or have trouble
reading body language and faces, you need to learn and fast. These are some of the
biggest indicators of attraction and discomfort. YouTube has an abundance of
videos and I own a few books on the subject. I’m sure autism sites have
resources to help with that learning curve.
Dating isn’t easy for anybody but I
hope I’ve made it easier for anyone who might be ‘socially awkward.’ Good luck and may the
force be with you.
Music: Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor
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