The Bachelor Book Tag

With The Bachelor winding down, I thought I'd borrow a book tag from BookTube

First Impression Rose –A book you bought because of the cover

Charm by Sarah Pinborough. I saw this when I was in B&N and the cover caught my eye. I loved the texture and detail. Then I realized it was a fairy tale retelling and I was all about it.

The 2-on-1 Date – Pick a series and your favorite and least favorite within it

I'm choosing the Fables series by Bill Willingham. My favorite is probably The Good Prince because that tells us so much about Ambrose. It's a really beautiful and powerful story in the series. My least favorite comes from an off-shoot of the original with Jack of Fables with The End. Everyone dies. It felt like a disservice to some of the characters of this universe to be killed off out of convenience.

The Wrong Reasons – The book started off amazing but the ending was terrible

In the Woods by Tana French. This like would have been a 3 star book from me regardless but there was a lot of potential to do interesting things and then SPOILER ALERT the main character never remembers what happens to his friends and completely fucks up his life. I refuse to touch another of her books to this day because I hated the ending so much.

Bachelor in Paradise – You're favorite light, fluffy read

Love and Capes by Thomas Zahler, the entire series. It's only 4 trades long so any and all of them. It's a very sweet series about a normal girl falling in love with a superhero. The focus is on their relationship and life. It's more like a sitcom than heavy comic book series.

The Most Dramatic Season Ever – A book that was a total roller coaster ride

The Rook by Daniel O'Malley. A friend of mine recommended it and I feel in love instantly. The first line is "Dear You, The body you're wearing used to be mine," and it doesn't really slow down from there. It was a smart, engaging, thrill ride.

The Fantasy Suite – The most amazing romantic build up and release

I was leaning toward Jane Austen but I'm going to be a little different and say The Parasol Protectorate series. In that world, vampires and werewolves shouldn't be able to reproduce so the fact that Alexia is pregnant causes quite a fuss. While her werewolf husband drinks himself stupid, Alexia must busy herself saving the day until he comes to his senses. It was a very fun watching them come together, break apart, then come back together again.

The Final Rose – Your favorite book from the last 6 months

I've heard a year or a month for this category so I decided to land in the middle. That's a decent average for how long these couples last anyway. My pick is Through the Woods by Emily Carroll. It's illustrated creepy stories that I absolutely adore. My favorite was the short one at the very end because I have a thing for the Little Red Riding Hood tale.

The Bachelor Workout

It's that time again! The Bachelor started this week and I'm brought it in with a bang.

I run a tally of everything that happens and then do the exercises during the commercials. After the first week, Fake Job Title will be changed to "connection." Rejected categories were 

-When the claws come out

-"Proposal"

-Welcome back (we see someone we've seen before)

-"...felt like this before"

It will get my fat butt off the couch and help me mindfully consume my media. Everyone goes on here talking about finding a spouse. One person choosing from 28 people on romantic dates only a billionaire could pull off. That's very typical.

Let's not forget, the contestants don't get books, radio, TV, internet, phones, cameras, crossword puzzles, board games, podcasts, movies, music, or any form of entertainment other than exercise and each other. Stockholm Syndrome anyone?

It's always good to mindfully consume your media. Now I'm doing that and exercising.

PopSugar Book Challenge Book 21 or Surreality TV

I'm bending the 'love triangle' rules because I've been wanting to read this. Reality dating shows have been creating love polygons for several years and The Bachelor's been doing it the longest.

I've read several 'tell alls' that didn't tell much. This wasn't one of them. Apparently Adrian Grenier is well hung and Courtney and Ben had great sexual chemistry, among other dish. Robertson did not skimp on many details including ones that made her look bad.

Editing plays a big role in who the audience sees as a villain and a good girl. A good example was when Ben announced everyone was going to Puerto Rico. In the episode, Courtney immediately said "I was just there." In reality, it was part of a normal post-toast conversation.

I maintain you have to give the choice soundbites like calling another girl a stripper but there's always more than meets the eye. I didn't realize some girls had to share a bed or how cliquey the girls were toward each other (though I'm not surprised). 

I felt like some of it was a public apology to some of the girls since she said some (not all) very nice things I doubt she meant. The rest of it was to tell her side, entertain the public, and improve her image. I appreciated her honesty about what was wrong in her relationships and the role she played.

Summarizing what this season of The Bacherloette should look like

We'll open with 2 bachelorettes and Chris Harrison will pretend to feelbad even though it's his idea. The guys will get to choose the girl. This is a great twist even though we'd never do this to the bachelor guys.

We'll pretend to care about feminism by inviting Amy Schumer on for an episode. That should placate people until we slut shame Kaitlin for kissing all the guys even though Chris Soules did the exact same thing.

Because the 2 bachelorette plot twist can't generate drama for more than 2 episodes, we'll throw in a villain from Andi's. It will piss the existing guys off and bump up ratings.

That should work until Kaitlin is busted for having sex with one of the guys. ABC is owned by Disney and the only permitted reading material for contestants is a Bible so sex is bad. We'll slut shame her like crazy despite sex being a normal part of a healthy relationship. After we bust her like a teenager instead of a 28 year old woman, we'll make her admit it to all the remaining guys to add to the shame.

Let the degradation and feminist criticism begin.

Music: The Verge by Le Tigre

The Feminist Prepares for The Bachelor

A new episode of The Bachelor premieres tonight. This can only mean one thing: I’ll be live texting it with my BFF. My texts will consist of comments of how contrived something is, feminist snark, and the occasional ‘d’aw.’ Since the latest portrait of white hotness is a farmer, I’m sure we’ll have a few ‘aw shucks’ and hilarious fish out of water moments.

Later this year when the next Bachelorette is determined from Hot McDonald’s castoffs, I want to host a watch party with shot glasses full of water and juice (it does air on Mondays folks) and bite size snacks that must be consumed every time a key word or phrase is uttered. I’d probably only pick about 6 key phrases to avoid any complications. I got the idea from Jennifer Pozner’s Reality Bites Back.

-Princess

-Prince Charming

-Fairytale

-Cinderella

-Magical

-{Any other Disney princess mentioned by name or movie}

-Happily Ever After

-Wedding

-Marriage

-(I want) kids

-I want a family

-I’m (falling) in love
-Soulmate

-Engaged

-Fiancé
-Wife/Husband

-I didn’t come here to make friends

-“She’s a bitch” or “He’s an ass/jerk”

-(S)He’s not here for the right reasons

-{Any mention of racial differences, generally void 1/3 through the season}

-{Anyone gets sloppy drunk}

-{Anyone crashes someone else’s one on one time}

-{Any time a contender sneaks the protagonist away for stolen one on one time}

This world needs more conscious media consumption. Rarely is it mention how incredibly white The Bachelor(ette) franchise is. Andi Dorfman caused a splash because she was the first Jew. How white does a show have to be for Judaism to be exotic? 

I think Andi also had someone not white in the running for longer than average. I don’t know if the show is picking a primarily white mating pool it needs a more realistic distribution of color.

Also, almost no one realizes how totally isolated those women are. Between Melissa Rycroft Strickland’s book and pieces of Courtney Robertson’s book, you realize the women aren’t allowed cameras, iPods, iPhones, TV, internet, books, crossword puzzles, laptops, tablets, magazines, newspapers, or any other form of entertainment. I doubt they’d even get a Rubik’s cube lest ABC have to pay for licensing. I think the reason the women get so competitive over the dates is so they finally have something to do.

Under normal circumstances, this is a recipe for Stockholm Syndrome. Within the confines of reality TV, this is a recipe for drama and ratings. The reason so many of these relationships fail is because no one in them has had any exposure to real life stresses and distractions. You can’t get an idea of what a person is really like in a beautiful location with no outside influences. How else will you know if he thinks Rush Limbaugh has a point, she gets major road rage, or one of you is scared of frogs? All the show really teaches anyone is who cleans up nice, who plays well with others, and who is an ugly crier.

Still, it will be fun throwing snark about with someone is more sweet minded. It was least season.

B*Witching

One of my favorite girl groups when I was growing up was B*Witched. They were an Irish foursome know for rocking denim and singing bubblegum pop. 

I was poking around on iTunes when I discovered they'd released new music. I promptly downloaded in and started looking into what happened with the resurgence. It all started as part of a British TV show called The Big Reunion. Six of the top UK pop bands of the 90's and early 2000s will be reunited for one big concert and one dramatic reality show. I've been watching it on YouTube.

I knew about a few of these bands but these were the days of dial-up internet. If the marketing machine never made it state-side, there wasn't a lot I could find out. Atomic Kitten and Five made it stateside but they weren't as big as B*Witched.

When I fell in love with B*Witched I was 12 and media literacy existed in academic circles. With the rise of smartphones and constant communication, media literacy is a common topic of discussion. I often take apart the media I'm consuming now but I've never taken a look back at the media I consumed growing up.

It's so strange to hear about how the leads on songs were shared until one of their handlers decided they needed a lead singer. They weren't supposed to be seen outside without their 'uniform' of denim. Keavy had an extremely hard time adjusting to living in her twin's shadow. Lindsay felt like she didn't have a voice. When the band was abruptly dropped from their record label, Edele wanted to find another label and make it work. Sinead was ready to call it quits. She and Edele had become so close that she wanted to figure out who she was on her own. Both describe it like the end of a marriage. 

It was so bizarre to hear one of my favorite bubbly girl groups who are always delightful in interviews was dying inside. When Keavy had a minor breakdown on a family trip, their team was worried about the band, not the woman. Edele said "We were a product." 

Looking back at it, those kinds of issues were inevitable. In the Big Brother-esque world of media today, it's harder to hide those issues but it still happens. You can still see the media controlled corporate pop machines like One Direction. They seem like lovely lads but I assure you those boys are walking hormones.

I'll always loved B*Witched and have a soft spot for their music. You don't hear bubble gum pop like that these days. I have a new respect for these women and how hard it was to do what they did. I hope things in the new band are more balanced. I'd like to see them thrive again.

Music: Champagne or Guiness by B*Witched

Spelling Out Some Drama

Tori Spelling used her reality as her career and entertainment for the masses. When Dean McDermott was outed for having an affair, everyone stayed quiet. For the first time in a long time the McDermotts were fighting the tabloid fodder they’ve become.

I both understood it and found it hypocritical. Nobody wants their dirty laundry to be public spectacle at the same time they’re dealing with it. Rather than own it, Tori tried to hide it and process it. As much as I understand that I also wanted to call shenanigans when she tried to hide what was happening and pretend everything’s fine.

Now that she has control of it, true to form Tori is using her marital woes for a new short reality show on Lifetime, True Tori. Part of me is glad she’s being so public about this. I’m sure there are a lot of women in a similar place and appreciate having someone own that this happens. Part of me also wants to call shenanigans because she tried to hide it until she could make a good profit on it.

Either way, I’m definitely tuning in and watching the spectacle. I could use the diversion.

Music: Sleeping with a Friend by Neon Trees

A Few of My Favorite Things: Face Off

This may be the most interesting and positive reality program on television but it’s not getting the traction it deserves because it’s ‘genre.’ It’s a special effects make-up reality competition where a variety of artists compete for money, a car, and a huge professional opportunity.

One of my favorite things about this show is that it lacks 2 major elements from reality television: schadenfreude and backstabbing.

Contestants on Face Off will rise or fall based on the strength of their concept and execution. Hurting someone else does not guarantee them a win or prevent elimination. They also have to deal with each other once the show is over. Their profession isn’t that big and paths will likely cross. What’s the point in generating bad blood when it gets you nothing?

There’s also no schadenfreude. Most talent shows include a few contestants who have no right to be there. They have no skill and no shot at advancing. They exist solely for the audience to laugh at. Face Off doesn’t do that. Every contestant has a right to be there, everyone has the skills. It’s one of my favorite shows for a reason.

Spelling Trouble

I don’t think I ever admitted this before in print but I’m kind of a fan of Tori Spelling. I’ve never seen 90210 or any of her movies. I got to know her once she started making her living off her own life.

I read her first book when I was in college. It was a her first tell-all including details about her feud with her mother. It was a BFD at the time. Home on break I discovered her Oxygen reality show. It became my go-to trash TV. 

Unlike The Hills or The Kardashians which were big at the time, Tori Spelling didn’t seem like a privileged brat. She always seemed gracious, sweet, and very down-to-earth for Aarond Spelling’s daughter. She seemed like she’d be a good friend and fun.

I have no doubt she’s more into fashion than literature or feminism but I have to respect how hard she works. She has a variety of professional endeavors that she had to balance with marriage and a family. I’m sure she’s clueless to some of what us normal folk do but she’s not a bad person. 

I was in the grocery store with The Boy recently when I saw Us weekly talking about Dean McDermott’s one night stand. I don’t know what level of truth there is here but it doesn’t seem impossible.

Spelling often described her husband as her soulmate and Prince Charming, not unlike Bella from a few entires ago. Tori may have spread herself too thin with work or been too devoted to her children giving only what little was left to her marriage. It may be the lack of sex that results from having 4 young children.

Some of the tabloid sites are saying that Tori doesn’t want to leave because of their four kids and her image. Much of her current brand is related to her being a wife and mother. If that falls apart, she’ll have to reinvent herself or risk loosing a big part of her career.

In the final seasons of their show Tori let the world see the problems arising in her marriage. Relationships ebb and flow and couples fight. However back in May she was saying how glad she was her marriage to her soulmate never had the seven year itch.

Every couple has its problems and no one can really know what goes on in a marriage except the people in it. But as a nosey pop culture junkie, I can poke around what’s out there. I still have her first book and got the next two from an evil online retailer with amazing prices. I’ll get the fourth from the library.

Am I terrible for wanting to delve more into her life as she’s facing a huge personal crisis? Or is that just the risk when you make you living off your reality being someone else’s entertainment?

Music: Dirty Laundry by Lisa Presley

May the Best One Win

Since reality competitions became a staple on TV, I’ve seen a variety of programs including Survivor, American Idol, The Swan (don’t get me started), Big Brother, The Amazing Race, etc. The current shows I’m watching are The Voice and Face Off, both in their third season.

The Voice, for those who don’t know, has four famed recording artists choosing a team of singers based on blind auditions. The four artists coach and mentor their respective teams. There are various battle rounds where coaches and/or the viewers will determine the winner. The final winner, the Voice, will get a recording contract among other things.

Face Off is a show where special effects make-up artists compete for several prizes and opportunities. Each week has a spotlight challenge where either prizes or safety are determined and a themed challenge where someone is eliminated. Themes have including recreating the catena scene from Star Wars, zombie Alice in Wonderland characters, disproportionate video game characters, and Chinese dragons.

One of the main things that set these shows apart from most other reality competition shows is that they are nicer. No one is truly out for blood. So many programs reward people for being manipulative and cutthroat but not these. Every contestant has skill. No one is there to be mocked and shamed for the schadenfreude of America.

You see more of a competitive element in The Voice but it is not edited or advertised in a way that promotes the ‘you’re-going-down’ mentality. The criticism is always constructive and never mean. You have to be the best to win but the contestants are gracious and kind. One guy who won his battle round immediately apologized to the girl who lost. As scripted as these can be, the produces didn’t generate that. It’s refreshing for a singing competition to have a more nurturing dynamic.

Face Off is the perfect show if you are tired of the standard reality TV smack down. I have never seen a competition where there was such strong camaraderie between the contestants. If someone’s mold is stuck, others jump in to help. When one of the younger contestants needs help, one of the veterans steps in. Each episode I see them helping, guiding, and praising each other.

One contestant who had been eliminated was allowed to rejoin the cast by winning the spotlight challenge. The remaining contestants were stoked to see everyone again. The girl who won was greeted with hugs and cheers. When someone was sent home that night, one of the girls audibly cried. I only saw one obnoxious diva this season and he lasted one episode.

There are a few reasons for this dynamic other than editing. Each contestant or team is responsible for their own idea and execution. People will step in for small things but if the overall design fails, it falls solely on the team or individual. Sabotage is difficult to accomplish in that situation.

I worked backstage at my college theater. If people on the tech crew hate each other, it makes life harder for everyone. It is so much easier to just get along. The contestants work in an industry where that is the prevailing mentality. They will likely see each other again in their professional lives. Play well now to play well later.

I’m immensely pleased that there are at least two reality shows that continue to garner ratings without Wild Kingdom-style fights and belittling judges. It’s things like this that actually make me want to watch TV.

Must Drink TV

Everybody is familiar with making movies or TV shows into drinking games. Reality Bites Back recommended I do the same thing to highlight the sexism in reality TV. Please note, I do NOT recommend playing this exclusively with alcohol or possibly any alcohol. You could die. 

The Bachelor Drinking Game (applicable to any elimination based dating show)

Drink at any of the following words and phrases:

-Princess 

-Prince Charming

-Cinderella

-Happily ever after

-Fairytale

-Royalty (mention of William & Kate counts)

-Women name calling other competitors including bitch, slut, whore, skank, tramp, hussy, bimbo, etc.

Bridezillas Drinking Game (applicable to most, if not all, wedding based shows)

-It’s my day (said by the bride)

-It’s your day (said to the bride)

-I’m the bride

-I don’t care (said by the bride)

-[Someone is] running my wedding!

-Perfect

-That’s not what I ordered/asked for

- Princess (I’m a/you’re a)

-Anyone gets kicked out of the wedding party

-Anyone gets kicked out of the wedding

Current Music: Magneto - Henry Jackman

Alphabet Challenge Round 2

I just finished the letter R with Reality Bites Back by Jennifer Pozner. It's a feminist dissection of a decade's worth of reality TV and bless her heart, Pozner actually assumes the reader is smart. She doesn't talk down to you or pander. She treats you like an intelligent person who is capable of critical viewing and changing the rubbish that is out there.

The more I saw what modern television had to offer, the less I believed in it. Pozner spent 10 years watching the best and worst of reality (and surreality) television in order to write this book. I’m amazed she still has any faith in television as a medium let alone ‘unscripted’ television.

Pozner took her task very seriously and provides incredibly detailed dissections of several different television shows. She sees overarching patterns and cites specific incidents and backs up her findings with a great deal of extensive outside research. Her biggest repeat offenders? Joe Millionaire, The Bachelor, and America’s Next Top Model. I knew something was wrong with ANTM when a professor showed me the models posing as murder victims for a photo shoot and the judges fantastically creepy comments. Pozner goes much deeper than the surface to reveal how dysfunctional that show is at its core.

She focuses primarily on the depiciton of women and the message sent to and about us  but that isn’t the only issue. Pozner also takes on the way reality TV handles age, race, consumerism, embedded advertising. She showcases things most TV execs hide like the criminal past of many male reality contestants or frankenbiting or producers manipulating the cast to get certain reactions.

Pozner smartly isn’t one to just talk about the problem. She has her own chapter on how to watch critically including reality bingo and a drinking game which I may have to try out. She also has several other media critics and activists include their brief take on changing the media.

While I wouldn't call this an easy read, I wouldn't say it's difficult. It's dense and doesn't go by quickly but it is absolutely worth reading. I'm definitely busting out some cranberry juice and doing shots for my own 'Find the Fairytale' or 'Spot the Product Placement' drinking games. I think if actual booze was used, someone would have alcohol poisoning by the second commercial break.

A
B
C
D
E
F
G - The Great Fables Crossover by Bill Willingham
H
I
J
K
L
M - Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen
N
O
P
Q
R - Reality Bites Back by Jennifer L. Pozner
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

Current Music: Kiss Them for Me - Anna Nalick