Yes Means Yes

I’m adding Who Needs Feminism to my list of favorite things. It’s a tumblr of women (and men) explaining why they need feminism. Reading some of these has made me so grateful for the people in my life. I have never been shamed about being a feminist and a strong woman.

I read a tumblr post somewhere about a college guy who was in a cab with a larger gay man who was clearly interested. He talked about how he felt really uncomfortable but didn’t know why. A woman in the class said “Because you were the object of unwanted sexual advances and if he forced himself on you there was little you could do to stop it.” He was shocked when he learned that every single woman in that room felt that way on a regular basis.

I have always felt that telling The Boy “No” for whatever reason was an option and that would be the end of it. I never had to justify myself or keep repeating my reasons or have him pester and pout. He accepts ‘no’ and has always respected my body and my choice. He has no idea how rare that is. He still doesn’t get why his ready acceptance of my feelings and desires means a lot. It’s really sweet.

I had to explain that yes The Boy is a feminist mostly because he’d never thought about it that much before. This really drove the point home for me that he is absolutely a feminist because disregarding a woman’s choice in favor of his own desire is not something he’d ever do.