Thursday, October 4, 2012

Complaint Department

I have confirmed that I am quite good at the strongly worded customer service letter. In the last few years, I’ve gotten an upgrade to free shipping, a $5 credit, a free burrito, and a 5 song credit. Since many people complain but don’t always see results, I’m offering a few tips.

Only complain if you have a valid reason – If you become a frequent flyer, you will stop getting rewards for being a perpetual whiner. I am sure they have ways of flagging these kinds of people. If your reason sucks, you won’t get anything. My examples are below.

-My complaint to the Apple store came from a simple question I wanted to email in. The website wouldn’t work enough times I called the help line (which I hate doing). The automated system told me to use the website that wouldn’t let me send the email. Once I finally got my email sent, I told them what a nightmare it was getting the email sent. I got the 5 free song credits along with my answer.

-I ordered some books from Amazon. Normally, they come shrink-wrapped and waiting on my front step. All 5 or 6 books were loose in the box with some of those little air pillows for protection. It was also left out on a day when it was supposed to (and did) rain. I rightly complained and received $5 for my trouble.

Don’t forget good service – If the business you’re complaining too has never wronged you before or has done so infrequently, say so. It gives you more grounds to say how disappointed you are. I am a frequent customer at several restaurants and retailers. I can speak to how service usually is and how this deviates.

Be articulate – Clearly state what the problem was. Make sure they know the situation, the details, and how you felt because of their errors. If you’re angry, frustrated, disappointed, or other emotion make sure you say it as well as reflect it in your tone.

Don’t name call – Whoever is answering your email/call did not cause whatever trouble you’re experiencing.

Don’t swear – Once again, these people catch nonstop crap for something they didn’t do. Swearing makes you sound less intelligent, articulate, and sympathetic.

Get names – If the complaint is about an individual, remember name and/or identifying details. Bossman can’t do anything if he doesn’t know who’s screwing up.

No empty threats – Don’t threaten to take your business elsewhere if you don’t mean it. I no longer shop the cheezburger store for this reason. Threaten to tell others how bad the service was (you probably have already).

Compare to competitors – If they have a popular competitor you also use, say this has never happened with them. Don’t do this if you can’t back it up.

-I had a coupon code I was trying to redeem for a shirt. It did not show up on my emailed statement. When I attempted to use it again for a seasonal shirt, I was denied. I emailed customer service. I didn’t get a response for weeks and ordered my shirt before the expiration date sans discount. I got a response to my second email that the code didn’t show up on statements. I wasn’t offered a further discount or an apology. I emailed them back saying that I was so disappointed in their ‘service’ that I was done being their customer. I’m still repeating the story to this day.

Current Music: Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men

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