New Year, Modified Goals

I've never been a huge fan of New Year’s resolutions. The few times I have made them they’ve royally backfired. Anytime I’ve tried something similar again, I’ve made it more general. As opposed to ‘lose 10 pounds,’ I’ve switched it to ‘eat better and exercise more.’ So my goals for 2015 are as follows:

-Pay off my credit card

-Regularly cook from healthy recipes

-Continue to make progress at the gym

-Earn back some of the savings I lost during my unemployment

-Get my retirement plan in better order

-Enact a shopping freeze

One of the first pieces of advice on almost all the minimalist websites and essays I’ve found is a shopping freeze. I'm far too impulsive on buying things I don't need and I need to get better about it.

Fundamental Rules

-If I enter a store, I must have a reason. The thing in the window is pretty is not a reason.

-I will only stay in the sections of the store where I need to be. No wandering to browse.

-Before buying something not on my list, I must ask myself “What do I need?”

-No browsing stores or websites for something to do. There are better things to do like chores I’ve been putting off or books I’m not reading.

-All items I run out of can be replaced. If I run out of mascara or fancy face wash, I can replace it. I can't, however, buy the replacement other friends.

-I must report all nonessential or replacement purchases here.

Addendums

-I know my music habit won’t go quietly since several bands I love will be dropping new music next year. Ergo, I can only download 1 album OR 10 individual songs in any given month. Any album I download must have been on my wish list for a minimum of two months or pre-ordered.

-I have a couple of conventions coming up next year. I have notoriously poor impulse control at these. To encourage better habits I need to be able to get it autographed and you’ll hear about it. I have a Zatana and Black Canary team up in hardback that the artist drew Zatana for me. Bill Willingham made a funny reference about my lack of subtlety while signing one of my comics. These are worth bending a couple of rules.

I’ve figured I’ll have to make a couple of other allowances since there are items I’m waiting to purchase.

-One or two pairs of mid-calf leggings from Torrid. They’re practical and perfect for summer.

-A couple of books that won’t be released until May and I’ve been waiting for.

-Something I’ve had my eye on to get free shipping whilst ordering The Boy’s Valentine’s Day gift.

-Any pair of rain boots I’m happy with. If I miraculously find a pair that fit, my credit card is coming out.

To help keep myself honest, I’m going to install a website blocker on my computer. Any time I try to access a website like Amazon, ThinkGeek, HerUniverse, or other retailers, it will stop or redirect me. I should be able to take it down in order to shop for other people but any time I remove a block, I must put $5 from checking into savings.

I’ve read some of what people have done and found that it gets easier the longer you do it. Rather than say this is an indefinite lifestyle change, I will be doing this until September 1st. I plan on moving toward the end of the summer so there will be inevitable expenses and necessary purchases. I'll report back about the freeze and see if I learned anything.

Music: Do You Hear What I Hear by Idina Menzel

The Great Purge of 2014: Moar Books

The Great Purge has been a great success. I’ve gathered even more stuff to donate. The only annoying part is that I don’t have time to donate it before Friday so I’m stuck dodging the boxes until that time comes. Believe you me, this is high on my to-do list.

A lot of the minimalist blogs and podcasts out there talk about how getting rid of stuff is addicting. I totally get that now. Watching space free up in my closet or on my shelves is liberating. I felt a bit lighter after my latest evaluation. I’ll feel even lighter if I can get rid of these boxes. As of Friday, everything on this list is going to a place that will sell or donate it. If you don’t claim it by then, it’s gone.


Genre Fiction
Wicked - Maguire
Son of a Witch - Maguire
Lion Among Men - Maguire
The World House
What-the-Dickens - Maguire
The Princess Bride
Ender's Game - Card
Midnight Riot
Steampunk'd 
Trolls in the Hamptons
Night Mares in the Hamptons
Dead until Dark
The Magic Shop
Songs of a Dying Earth
Horn of Ruin
He Is Legend
Classics Mutilated
Dracula in London

Teen
How to Deal (2 novels) - Sarah Dessen
City of Bones - Clare
City of Ashes - Clare
City of Glass - Clare
City of Fallen Angels - Clare
Meridian
The Summoning - Kelley Armstrong
Dreamland - Dessen
Along for the Ride - Dessen

Mystery 
Murder of a Bookstore Babe
The Book of Lies - Brad Meltzer (autographed)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime 
Mind's Eye - Nesser

Fiction 
History of Love - Krauss
Suite Francaise
Something Borrowed - Giffin
Something Blue - Giffin
State of Wonder
Juliet
Party Girl
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass 
The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To
I Just Want My Pants Back
29
A Dog's Purpose
How to Buy a Love of Reading

Memoir 
Love Is a Four Letter Word (essays)
The Winter of Our Disconnect
My Life in France - Julia Child
The Science of Single
Suck It Wonder Woman - Munn
Class 11
The Gastronomy of Marriage 
A Little Fruitcake: A Childhood in Holidays
Traveling with Pomegranates - Sue Monk Kidd

Nonfiction 
The Man Behind the Nose: Larry Bozo Harmon
Why? Because We still Like You: an Oral History of The Mickey Mouse Club
Writers Gone Wild
High School Confidential
Christmas: A Candid History
Sisterhood of Spies
Witsec 

MISC
The Deranged Stalker's Journal of Pop Culture Therapy (one panel comics)
The 500 Best Urban Legends
You Might Be a Zombie - Cracked.com
Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays
The Truth About Santa: Wormholes, Robots, and What Really Happens on Christmas Eve

A Graphic Year

Anyone who thinks graphic novels and comics are just about superheroes is a special sort of wrong. The subject matter is diverse, the stories captivating, and the art beautiful. I have graphic novels about suffragettes, sororities, Archie and friends, the last man alive, pirates, dogs, fairytales, divine beings, and real world monsters.

My 2015 book challenge requires only one graphic novel but I realized that I own far too many and love the genre too much to leave it at only one title. In addition to the 50 books I’ve already committed to read, I will also be reading one graphic novel for each week of the year in 2015.

It will be a challenging year and a graphic year for my bookshelves. I’m looking forward to it.

2015: A Challenging Year

My friend shared a new Book Challenge with me from Goodwill Librarian's Facebook page. I'm not sure where it originally came from but I really like how broad it is

Since the picture is smaller than anticipated, I typed the list out below or you can just see it here:

-A book with more than 500 pages
-A classic romance
-A book that became a movie
-A book published this year
-A book with a number in the title
-A book written by someone under 30
-A book with nonhuman characters
-A funny book
-A book by a female author
-A mystery or thriller
-A book with a one word title
-A book of short stories
-A book set in a different country
-A nonfiction book
-A popular author's first book
-A book from an author you love that you haven't read yet
-A book a friend recommended
-A Pulitzer prize winning book
-A book based on a true story
-A book at the bottom of your to-read list
-A book your mom loves
-A book that scares you
-A book more than 100 years old
-A book based entirely on it's cover
-A book you were supposed to read in school but didn't
-A memoir
-A book you can finish in a day
-A book with antonyms in the title
-A book set somewhere you've always wanted to visit
-A book that came out the year you were born
-A book with bad reviews
-A trilogy
-A book from your childhood
-A book with a love triangle
-A book set in high school
-A book with a color in the title
-A book that made you cry
-A book with magic
-A graphic novel
-A book by an author you've never read before
-A book you own but have never read
-A book that takes place in your hometown
-A book that was originally written in a different language
-A book set during Christmas
-A book written by an author with the same initials
-A play
-A banned book
-A book based on or turned into a TV show
-A book you started but never finished

There's something fun about it. Instead of long and short, it's 500 pages and read in a day. There's something about it I just like.

It totals 49 books but I'm going to add one more category to add one more voice:

-A book written by someone over 40

I think that should keep me plenty busy over the next year.

Music: I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by LeAnn Rimes

I Like It

At my office party I was explaining how I was done 3 for 6 parties. I said one of the parties I had coming up was with my RenFest friends and we love to dress up in costume. That got a few funny looks.

I’ve dealt with enough non-nerds that I’ve gotten pretty good at explaining why I do what I do. I don’t understand why golf, designer fashion, sky diving, or excessive drinking are fun but for some reason those are easier to explain. Here’s a few suggestions on explaining why you love what you love to the ‘typical’ folks with whom you deal.

Explaining LARPing or RPGs: “I liked playing make-believe when I was a kid and I didn’t feel like stopping as an adult.”

Explaining Cosplay: “I liked playing dress-up as a kid and I didn’t feel like stopping as an adult.”

Explaining being a brony: “In a world of gratuitous violence and harmful machismo, it’s really refreshing to be part of a warm, welcoming, and non-judgmental show and fan community.”

Explaining comic cons: “It’s a chance to us to meet authors of our favorite books and other folks who have the same interests.”

Explaining comics: “Many of the stories have excellent character development and thoughtful narratives. The art adds an extra dimension to the story and eases the need for exposition.”

Explaining sci-fi shows: “It has the same elements of most regular TV shows but the universe allows for a lot of extra plot points and storylines to happen. In some ways, the universe becomes a character in itself with how it shapes everything.”

I wonder what it’s like to never have to justify what you like.

Music: Once Upon a December by Dean Carter

A Few of My Favorite Reads

What I did for my closet, I had to do for my books. They are easily the most overwhelming possession I have. It is very easy to buy a book but far more time consuming to read it.

I like genre fiction more than regular fiction This genre has a lot to offer but I don’t love it nearly as much as genre fiction. I own far too many unread pieces of regular and literary fiction so this section got parsed down considerably.

I will never be a huge pop science fan There are a great many things in this world I’m curious about but the various forms of pop science will never speak to me quite as much as fiction or memoirs do. I kept some titles I was especially excited about but cut out quite a few.

Just because it’s autographed doesn’t mean it’s worth keeping I have a few titles purchased before college I bought because I was excited about autographed books. Now that I have books I love and am able to interact with the writers, those autographs have meaning to me. There’s no point in keeping a book I’m not excited about because of a signature.

When will I actually read it? I have books I bought college and never got around to reading. I had to ask myself why they’ve been sitting on a shelf for so long and most of the ones I asked that about have since been donated. If I’m still somewhat curious, there’s always GoodReads and the library to help me keep track.

You can still have clutter in ebooks Despite my love of physical books, I have a lot of ebooks. Some were freebies, some were on sale, some I loved in print, and some were only available in ebook. I need to go through and delete the ones I didn’t like or only got because they were free.

I've rehomed over 100 physical books and can't wait to parse down my electronic collections. I want to be left with my favorite reads.

Music: Maybe Next Year by Meiko

Different Christmas Songs

It’s finally starting to feel like winter. The rain has stopped (for now) and the winter chill has settled in. The Grumpy Cat Christmas movie kicked off my season with the appropriate amount of snark and reminded me of a holiday classic I’d forgotten about: I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.

As much as I love Christmas music, sometimes you want options other than the 20 standard Christmas song. Hippopotamus and Two Front Teeth are underplayed, underappreciated classics. I have a modern cover of the former but can’t listen to the latter without the whistle. If you want something totally different:

Santa’s Lost His Mojo by Jeremy Lister

Winter Song by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson

Christmas Day by She & Him

Christmas Eve in Washington by Maura Sullivan

Christmas Time in Tinseltown by The Big Bad Voodoo Daddies

Wish List by Neon Trees

Another Christmas Song by Stephen Colbert

Christmas Wish by All Caps

Santa Has a Mullet by Nerf Herder

The Cowboy’s Christmas Ball by The Killers

Don’t Shoot Me Santa by The Killers

Christmas at the Airport by Nick Lowe

The Marvelous Toy by The Chad Mitchell Trio (It’s a Christmas song to me)

Maybe Next Year by Meiko

Mistletoe by Colbie Caillat

Text Me Merry Christmas by Straight No Chaser with Kristen Bell

Nutcracker by Straight No Chaser

Merry Something to You by Devo

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays by *NSYNC (although BSB will always be better, don’t judge me)

Star of Wonder by Tori Amos (Her entire album is amazing so choosing just one song was difficult)

A Few of My Favorite Things

Going through my closet and consciously thinking about what I like and what’s comfortable made me realize some very important wardrobe facts.

-I’m not a huge fan of pullovers I do better in cold temperatures than the average person so when I get inside, I like to shed my layers. If I wear a cute, long-sleeved sweater to work, I’m stuck in that sweater even if I’m warm. If I had doubts about any pullovers or long-sleeved shirts in my closet, they were gone.

-I like wearing leggings in the summer One of my favorite summer uniforms last year was leggings and a short-ish dress or skirt. I also only like ‘shorts’ that at least hit my knees. I cut down on old or heavyweight capris and any shorts that didn’t fit the bill.

-I don’t like collars I can rock a Victorian collar like nobody’s business for costumes but when it comes to work wear, I really don’t like collared shirts. Because I get warm easily, I don’t like closing off my neck. Only a couple remain in my closet.

-I’m not much of a dress person Dresses are harder to wear with leggings and I’m not skinny enough to have a thigh gap. I have more dresses than I wear and it simply doesn’t make sense.

-I don’t like wearing hats I love how hats look on other people but I generally don’t like things on my head. I also have a large head so only a handful of headgear remains in my closet.

-I am super-picky about shoes My feet are incredibly difficult to outfit. They’re long, flat, wide, and have a high instep. I have shoes that I haven’t worn since college because I found things that work better. Any style that hadn’t been worn in the last 18 months was gone.

-I don’t like heavy jewelry I had hematite beads and a long pearl chain but they were both so heavy I almost never wore them. I like my jewelry to be light and comfortable so anything too bulky or heavy is on to better places.

-I’m not a bracelet or ring person I own no rings and am cutting down on bracelets. I almost never wear anything on my wrists because I don’t like how bracelets feel. The only ones I’m comfortable in are sailors knots and leather cuffs. What I have doesn’t get worn very much so some of those are going to better hands.

One of my favorite tenets of minimalism is that all of your things are your favorite things. You cut out the excess and only keep what matters to you. I’m still not perfect about this but I’m trying to get down to only my favorite things.

Current music: Santa’s Lost His Mojo by Jeremy Lister

The Great Purge of 2014: Board Games

I have too many board games collecting dust. Even if I'm able to start hosting my own game nights, I have plenty to ensure a good time is had by all with what I've got left. Here's what needs re-homing:

Games
The Hunger Games
Clue
Life
Apples to Apples Clue: Secrets and Spies
Never Have I Ever
Pirateology
Scene It TV Edition
Trivial Pursuit 25th Anniversary Edition
The Dirt Game
Yam Slam
Dirty Minds
Mad Gab (mini. card game)
Fact or Crap (mini. card game)
Battle of the Sexes (mini. card game)
Quelf (mini. card game)
Tribond (mini. card game)
Asshole (mini. card game)

Minimizing

Part of what inspired the Great Purge of 2014 was my discovery of minimalism

It started with a BuzzFeed article that lead to some Googling. That searching lead me to find other blogs like Becoming Minimalist and Mindful Riot. One of my favorite things about Mindful Riot is that she likes the idea of minimalism but isn’t a hardcore shipper and recognizes it’s a process. She also writes about feminism which is a big sell for me.

I also love Tiny Houses. I think I’d feel too claustrophobic to live in one full time but they fascinate me. I love seeing the different designs and how every inch of the space is functional. The Boy and I aren’t Rockefellers or Astors so we probably won’t be getting a McMansion any time soon. It’s nice to see how people make the most of small spaces.

I’m still parsing down as I write this. Last night while putting away laundry I went through my closet and decided I didn’t need at least another 10 things. I want more space in my closet. Instead of storming the mall on Black Friday, I plan on making a Goodwill donation run. 

And maybe a trip to the bookstore. I do have a decent coupon and my local comic book shop is running some pretty decent deals. (Don't judge me. I said it's a process and I'm supporting a local business.)

That’s the other part of my inspiration with minimalism: money. Now when I go into stores, I try to avoid browsing. I have to ask myself what I need and not seek out new things out of boredom. My car is very close to paid for but a year of unemployment definitely had an impact on my finances. I need to stop spending. 

Another part of my Black Friday unloading will be dropping some books off at the library and one of the book sellers at my alma mater. I did that last month and got around $25 for my troubles. I want to see if I can make some extra money again.

The F-Bomb Is Dropping

Feminist is becoming a very charged word despite a remarkable number of people trying to shut it down. TIME memorably said it should be banned. This backfired royally with a massive media backlash.

A variety of pop stars and actresses have come out against feminism in the recent past as I have said many times but some minds have finally started changing.

Beyonce perfectly displays how feminism isn't an all or nothing game. Find the space where you're comfortable that aligns with your beliefs.

Lady Gaga and Katy Perry both said the label didn't apply to them. After an education about the equality the word really represents, both have changed their tune. Neither will be marching in a rally any time soon but let's enjoy baby steps.

Taylor Swift hung out with Lena Dunham and realized that she was absolutely a feminist. She even had some interesting things to say about how she's often reduced to her relationships and inability to keep them. I loved how she played on this trope in her video for Blank Space.

Unfortunately, not all minds are so open. Despite several outcries, Kelly Clarkson still hasn't made any response to the ugly and ignorant things she said about feminism and feminists a year ago. I can't listen to her music anymore because of what she said. I lost all respect for her. It's a combination of the blatant hypocrisy and her breathtaking, willful ignorance.

Clarkson has been out of small town Texas long enough to figure out what the word means and how the independence she values epitomizes it. She's called out music execs for sexist behavior and the amount of attention paid to her weight but somehow she's not a feminist.

Maybe she doesn't want to alienate the conservative country crowd she's been courting so hard since she feel in love with Brandon Blackstock. It might explain why Carrie Underwood is still singing the same old song. Although country music seems to be changing its tune with Girl in a Country Song and Quarterback.

Please name any other group of people celebrities can openly misrepresent and bad mouth without media backlash? Who else can consistently be reduced to its extremists without anyone major complaining?

You can't touch religions although Christian extremists and hypocrites are vocal enough to make this surprising. Gamergate has created a very discernible barrier between normal gamers and misogynistic troglodytes. Mormons have come out against the polygamist minority, especially since the poly folks started getting their own shows. I can't think of any group that earns such open dismissal and derision from society.

Amy Poehler said she doesn't get why people like Shailene Woodley come out against feminism. "But then they go on to explain what they support and live by -- it’s feminism exactly. I think some big actors and musicians feel like they have to speak to their audience and that word is confusing to their audience. But I don’t get it. That’s like someone being like, "I don’t really believe in cars, but I drive one every day and I love that it gets me places and makes life so much easier and faster and I don’t know what I would do without it."

A blog I just discovered has the best response to those type of women: "You are either a feminist or you actually think you should get paid less for equal work."

Until some of these women learn what it means to get their cars taken away from them, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Madonna don't need my money. Any production with Shailene Woodley, Susan Sarandon, Demi Moore, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dita Von Teese, or Gwenyth Paltrow can look somewhere else for their box office dollars.

I'm gonna go crank Taylor's new album and see what Bustle and BuzzFeed have to say today.

PS - Some of the above women say they're 'humanists.' It's a lazy cop-out to say they love equality but are scared of the f-bomb.

New Avengers

A friend of mine is posting a question on Facebook everyday for the month of November. All of them have been pretty brilliant but today's really made me think.

The world needs a team of Avengers!
Crime is rising and supervillains are concocting dastardly plans. We need some heroes - and you're the Nick Fury of the group, putting the team together. You can choose any 4 people who have ever lived to be granted superpowers related to what they were known for and become The Avengers.
You're going to want a good mix of brawn, intelligence, and innovation. And, of course, entertainment value.

It's time to assemble the team! Which 4 people do you pick?

Brawn
I had some pretty decent choices between professional athletes, buff celebrities, and fitness experts. Contenders included Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, Michael Clarke Duncan, a few famous historical fighters, and about half the NHL.

Bruce Lee. He was one of the most skilled martial artists of his time, possibly ever. He played ping pong with nun-chucks!  Lee could have taken out anybody, including guys twice his size. He's a fighter you want on your size.

Brains
The world has seen some incredibly minds like Stephen Hawking, Marie Curie, and Albert Einstein. There are also some brilliant and charismatic minds now like Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Michio Kaku.

Nikola Tesla. When Einstein was asked what it felt like to be the smartest man alive. He said you have to ask Tesla. I choose you Pikachu. 

Innovation
Coming up with brilliant inventions is no small task. Thomas Edison, Alan Turing, and Alfred Nobel will agree with that.

Leonardo Da Vinci He came up with things that are still viable in this century. Can you imagine what he could create with modern technology.

The Wild Card
The two things I noticed about my list thus far is that it's all men and it's all people who might be a little socially awkward. This team needs the voice of a woman and someone who does well with other people.

Do I go with a historical bad ass like Anne Bonny, Mata Hari, or Nellie Bly? Should I opt for a classic feminist like Gloria Steinem? What about modern funny, feminists like Tina Fey, Amy Poehler or Rebel Wilson?

After some thought and research, I think my final person will be Wanda Sykes. She'll bring a non-white male perspective, is a great performer, and understands how the average mind works. Comedy requires a lot of performance, body language, audience reading. It only looks easy if you're doing it right.

My modern Avengers is Bruce Lee, Nikola Tesla, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Wanda Sykes. I think they could save the world.

Say My Name

I have realized that I have a lot of J names in my life. Between work, socializing, and family, there's

Jaime
Jackie
Jason x3
James
Julie
Julia
Jeremiah
Jeff
Jennifer
Jenny
Josh
John
Jonathan
Jon
Joe

I have informed The Boy that I'm banning all J names for our future children. I'm having enough trouble keeping the one's we've got straight. I'm also up to 4 Meg/Meghan/Megans. I am so not giving my kids typical names.

A Pregnant Pause

What I loved the most about this article is how it talks about how women are supposed to hide their pregnancy and how isolating it is. I suspect part of this is because it’s a man’s world. We have to fit in at work because men don’t get pregnant and experience 3 months of nausea. Men don’t have changing bodies so we have to downplay what is going on with our body so they don’t get uncomfortable. The above article says that a young female police officer had to fake it in bars just to fit in with her colleagues. Why is this OK? Why is there no middle ground?

The United States is one of the few countries on the planetwith no paid maternity leave. Men in this country still scoff at the idea of paid paternity leave. I know because I’ve seen it happen more than once. People always talk about how beautiful pregnancy is. If it’s so glorious and amazing, why is considered a medical disability? Why do women risk their jobs when they go through with it?

I suspect part of it is because the reality of women’s bodies are kept alien from men. If we’re not whole people and only here for your entertainment, why do you need to understand us? Only a woman can create life, and thanks to modern technology, doesn’t need a man present to do it. How can you rob a woman of the power and beauty of creating a new human life? By making it something she has to keep hidden or be punished for. By making it shameful and expensive. By making whatever life inside her more valuable than the woman carrying it around.

Our culture place this cone of silence on pregnant women. It’s one of the most powerful things a woman can do with her body but it’s shrouded in silence for 33% of the entire experience. I think women need to be more open about their pregnancy experiences, the good, the bad, and the bizarre. In a world that is legally and culturally stacked against us, we need all the solidarity we can get. Pregnancy needs to be humanized. By humanizing it, we can help the world at large accept it and embrace it.

I maintain that when to announce your pregnancy and how open you want to be is a personal choice. Assuming the Duggars stick to the values they espouse, Jill Duggar went public when she was less than a month along. As expensive as kids are, I can’t say I blame her for the People spread. Blake Lively was so quiet about it I’m still not sure it was publicly confirmed she’s pregnant. 

I'd use more personal examples but my friends just started the wedding phase. The baby phase won't be for a while now.

Personally, I don’t think I’d wait the full 3 months. I’d probably go public closer to 8-10 weeks after sharing the good news with a few close friends. I’ll figure it out when the time comes in the not-immediate future. The more we talk about it, the more normal it will become. There’s a line between sharing and oversharing but when it comes to women's bodies, those lines are way too close. Let's see if we can pus them father apart, shall we?

The Great Purge of 2014: DVDs

Looking around I realized that I have way too much stuff. It's not just books; it's clothes, DVDs, board games, purses, and even shoes. Yes, I of the massive feet, own too many shoes. It is definitely time for another purge.

I don't know too many women who would wear my clothes well but I know a couple of people who might be able to make some things work. Purses are pretty universal among women so I'll post the ones I don't have much need for anymore. Shoes are a lost cause. Those bad boys are just going to good will. 

Board games will have all their original pieces and in good to like new condition. I take care of my things. That list is forthcoming. I may also go through books again once I get through the rest of this stuff. This time we're focusing on DVDs.

TV Shows

Charmed seasons 1-5

The Office seasons 1-6
Arrested Development Seasons 1-3
Mythbusters Collection 6

Movies

Finding Nemo
Enchanted
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
27 Dresses
Killers
The Ugly Truth
He's Just Not That Into You
In Her Shoes
The Devil Wears Prada
New Year's Eve
Valentine's Day
Kinky Boots
Pay It Forward
Inception
Ocean's Eleven
Ocean's Thirteen
I, Robot
Freakonomics
Murder on the Orient Express
Thank You for Smoking
City Slickers
Young Frankenstein
The Other Boleyn Girl
Camp
Patch Adams
A Life Less Ordinary
Batman Begins
The Dark Knight
Airplane
Monty Python and the Holy Grail 

(Before everyone puts on their crazy pants, I never watch it alone and most of my friends have a copy. I'll never be far from arguing whether women distributing swords is a valid form of government.)

Park It

After seeing crappy parking jobs one too many times, I printed of a little notes in Comic Sans. I have left several on windshields of people who do fantastically bad parking jobs. 

Inspired by this BuzzFeed article, I've expanded my repertoire and decided to share them with you. You can borrow or steal or personalize them however you see fit.

Standards

The go-tos, standbys, and can't-go-wrongs in calling people out on their parking ineptitude.

Who taught you how to park? Helen Keller?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but you park like a douchebag. Stop it.

Where did you learn to park? The Stevie Wonder School of Driving?

You park like Ray Charles. He's blind and dead.

You're car isn't nice enough for 2 spots and neither are you jerkface

You park about as well as Stephen Hawking walks.

Name Game

Playing the name game in pointing out someone parked like a moron.

Is your name Katrina? Because you're parking job is a disaster.

Is your name Rush Limbaugh? Because you park like a moron.

Is your name Anthony Weiner? Because you park like a dick.

I'm assuming

Based on certain assumptions, you didn't do that bad a job.

That's quite a parking job. I'm assuming you did it blindfolded.

Excellent parking. I'm assuming you did it while a rabid raccoon tried to eat your face.

Tremendous parking job. I'm assuming you did it while a crazed ferret clawed at your genitals.

Based on your parking job and vehicle, I'm going to assume your genitalia is less than satisfactory.

The Liam Nesson

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking to park like a normal person, I can't tell you I have more space. But what I do have is a particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long time. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop parking like a douche, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will box you in.

So That Happened

Last summer I was at a cook out with some of my crazy RenFest friends. These are some of the magical quotes that happened during a relatively 'normal' conversation. You're welcome.

"Talk to my tit. My tit needs to understand!"

"I would so fuck a smurf."

"I would also fuck a snork. They have penises on their heads."
"I don't know how you'd survive with your penis on your head"
"Teletubbies do it all the time"

"They're like alien ben-wan balls"
"I am not putting that up my ass!"

"This is a religious experience. This is a chocolate temple."

"You are getting my ultra-gay Lafayette voice!"
"That show is nothing but blood and sex and no I don't mean Game of Thrones"

"I bet you have a fabulous bedazzled and rhinestoned riding crop."

"Yes, it's still rape if it's my armpit. True story."

"I dated one guy who was kind of special. I'd have my knee bent and it's like WTF is your problem?"

"Last year I was a different person. I was gay AND drunk"

Music: The 13th Hour by Midnight Syndicate (Yes, I know it's after Halloween. No, I don't care.)

That Was Awkward

Our office had a big board meeting this week and they decided to try something new. There was a snack filled meet and greet for the office and the board members. I talked to 3 of them and earned my fruit and cheese.

Leaving to walk back to the office I stopped to use the bathroom on the way to the elevator. I didn't realize I picked wrong until I heard someone else come in and not go for the stall. The way the bathroom was laid out blocked the urinals from view when you first come in and I didn't turn around.

Once I realized what was happening, I opted for hiding in the stall rather than explain to someone who was probably my coworker what happened. Then I heard another voice come in and the two men chat a bit.

Not only were both of them men I work with, one of them is pretty important. Another important note is that this totally invalidates the whole 'men don't talk in the bathroom' thing. You won't make a new friend but it's not a complete library.

I was stuck hiding in the small bathroom until both men had not only left the bathroom but left the immediate vicinity. The door was close enough to the elevator that I had no interest in getting busted. I could hear one of them chatting with someone near the else near the elevator. It's remarkable how small those stalls become when you're trapped.

By the time I came out there was only one person at the elevator who was fortunately not one of them men in there. If he noticed where I came from, he didn't say anything.

This is one of those awkward moments that is funny within 5 minutes of happening. I think this is hilarious and will happily tell it to friends. If anyone dare mention it to anyone I work with though, I'll shank you.

The Cost of Reproducing

In an earlier post about the cost of temping, I talked about how paying for my own private health insurance was an expensive but necessary endeavor. I'm on a couple of maintenance medications and the cost of them without insurance was worth the policy.

One thing I did not touch on was the cost of being a woman, specifically a woman who gets pregnant. I currently have no intentions of reproducing in the immediate future but the numbers are intimidating since I do want children some day.

My private policy did not cover prenatal or postnatal care at all. Any and all maternity coverage I may have required would have required a separate policy, purchased before I was pregnant, or would have been 100% out of pocket.

When I found out my new job sponsored health insurance covers those cost, I got a little teary with relief. I think it tapped into my feminist values to know my job chose a policy that made sure that was taken care of. A staggering number of employers skimp as much as they possibly can on this kind of coverage.

The number of doctors visits recommended of an expectant mother is:

Monthly prior to 28 weeks
Ever 2 weeks for 28 to 36 weeks
Weekly after 36 weeks

Imagine how cost prohibitive that level of care would be with no or minimal insurance. In the information packet about the health insurance plan I'm looking at, it provides a sample cost scenario of having a baby. This is just for giving birth with no serious complications.

As I've said before, I have no intention of reproducing for the foreseeable future but for a lot of women in America, this is a harsh reality. One trip to the ER can be enough to put a family struggling financially over the edge. 

When a friend of mine asked how expensive can The Pill be, I showed him that my insurance saved me about $70 a month and that was for a generic medication. Watch the Buzzfeed video I linked if you have any other silly questions about the matter.

Most of the people pulling the strings in corporate are men who have no interest in understanding numbers like these. Having a uterus should not be a preexisting condition. Women deserve equal health insurance options to men.

The Great Purge of 2014: Books

Yup, I'm parting with even more books. I seriously own too damn many. I've read some articles on minimalism and decided to use some of their ideas.

More than once I asked myself, "I've had this book since college and haven't read it. Why not?" Based on that, I'm parting with:


Fiction
The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler
Veil of Roses by Laura Fitzgerald
The Accidental Bestseller by Wendy Wax
Been There, Done That by Carol Snow
A Vist from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins
The Castle in the Forest by Norman Mailer
The Secret of Lost Things by Sheridan Hay
Gardens in the Dunes by Leslie Marmon Silko
Love Medicine by Louise Erdrich
Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl
Loving Frank by Nancy Horan
The Girl She Used to Be by David Cristofano
Children of Men by P. D. James
The Art of Losing by Rebecca Connell
Fieldwork by Mischa Berlinski
Summer People by Brian Groh
School's Out by Christophe Dufosse
Bedtime Stories edited by Diana Secker Tesdell
This Is Not Chick Lit edited by Elizabeth Merrick
The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
Here Comes Another Lesson by Stephen O'Connor
The Scandal of Lady Eleanor by Regina Jeffers
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larson
Room by Emma Donoghue

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café by Fannie Flagg

Teen
Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chobsky

The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan

What My Mother Doesn’t Know by Sones

Prom Nights from Hell edited by Meg Cabot

I Am Number Four by L. Lorre

Lost Voices by Porter


Mysteries
Heat Wave by Richard Castle
The Sunday Philosophy Club by Alexander McCall Smith
The Dark End of the Street edited by Jonathan Santlofer
The Missing Ink by Karen Olsen
Murder of a Bookstore Babe by Denise Swansom
Suite 606 by JD Robb et al
The Other Side by JD Robb et al
Three in Death by JD Robb
The Dark End of the Street edited by Jonathan Santlofer
Russian Roulette by Austin Camacho
Collateral Damage by Austin Camacho

Genre Fiction
Steampunk edited by Jeff VanderMeer
Shadow on the Sun by Richard Matheson
The Host by Stephenie Meyer
Stolen Kelley Armstrong
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke
City by Alessandro Baricco
Paul Is Undead by Alan Goldsher
Chyrstallia and the Source of Light by P. M. Glaser
Zoo City by Lauren Beukes
Beyond the Dark edited by Angela Knight
Unbound edited by Kim Harrison
Dates from Hell edited by Kim Harrison
Bite edited by Charlaine Harris
Grails: Quests of the Dawn edited by Richard Gilliam
Love Is Strange edited by Martin Greenberg
The Werewolf's Guide to Life
The New Vampire's Handbook
Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker


Nonfiction
The Mirror Effect by Dr. Drew
Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert
It's a Wonderful Lie edited by Emily Franklin
Who Cooked the Last Supper? by Rosalind Miles
Fame Junkies by Jake Halpern
Good Time Girls of the Alaska Yukon Gold Rush by Lael Morgan
50 Facts that Should Change the World by Jessica Williams
In Search of Dracula by Raymond McNally
Such a Pretty Fat by Julie Lancaster
Reduced Shakespeare by Reed Martin
Lit Riffs edited by Matthew Miele
Letters to Juliet by Lise Friedman
Spin magazine: Greatest Hits

Reading in the Brain by Stanislas Dehaene

Second Reading by Jonathan Yardley

George Steiner at The New Yorker
See Jane Date: Writing Chick Lit
What Color Is Your Parachute? 2010
Suddenly Frugal
A Very Short Introduction to Bestsellers

Memoir/Biography
Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman
I'm Just a Guy by Bill Engvall
Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl by Susan McCorkindale
Lost in Suburbia by Tracy Beckerman
Voluntary Madness by Norah Vincent
Stories from Candyland by Candy Spelling
Adventures of a Continental Drifter by Elliott Hester
The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kit by Bill Bryson
I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This by Bob Newhart

Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster

Voluntary Madness by Norah Vincent

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

Hell’s Angels by Hunter S. Thompson

Crossing the Heart of Africa by Smith

Confessions of a Continental Drifter by  Hester

The Whole Five Feet by Christopher Beha

Head Over Heel: Seduced by Southern Italy by Harrison

Badass by Shannen Doherty



Other
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Bla Bla Sex (random sex factoids)

Forbidden Knowledge Sex

Cruel and Unusual Idiots

Stupid Science

Stupid on the Road

Planet Dog: A Dog-lopedia by Sandra Choron

If you're interested in any of these titles, you know where to find me.

The Great Purge of 2014: Bags

I'm very particular about my handbags. Despite the purchase of others, I find myself returning to the same handful of bags. I have plenty more than a handful collecting dust. Anyone want to give the following bags a new home?

I've added a mass market paperback to give some scale. And when I say leather, I do mean leather. I'm not a big fan of the fake stuff.

Pink flower Dooney and Bourke barrel purse and wristlet

Faux leather "j" wristlet, white leather Dooney and Bourke wristlet, and Vera Bradley long wallet-y thing

Vera Bradley barrel purse

Blue plastic strawberry purse and faux leather clutch with outer snap pockets in teal, both from Target

Small red velvet-y fancy bag with black beading and little witch hat with a headband, both from Target

Pink "Princess" Santa hat (worn twice) and black baseball cap from a railroad excursion in Alaska (never worn)

Blue leather purse with open front pocket and small leather purse both from Fossil

Small suede fall purse with snap closure and front snap pocket and tan leather wallet, both from Fossil. The wallet perfectly held my iPhone 4 but I don't know if it can go much bigger.

Black leather purse from a Fossil outlet with braided strap

Mesh Ron Jon laundry bag