Pitch Isn't Quite Perfect

I finally got around to seeing Pitch Perfect. If you haven’t yet, just wait for the DVD. It’s worth a rental but not the $10 for a matinee.

The cast is excellent, the acting is good, and the music is the reason to watch the movie. The writing is the reason to rent it in a couple of months. 

Anna Kendrick’s character (Becca) is the standard tough girl who doesn’t need anyone but you see her soften up. Once she realizes what she’s doing, she backpedals to her old ways but hard. I can appreciate her being a bitch but not without a reason why. It’s hinted at but never fully explained. Sometimes it was difficult to like her.

The control freak character is amusing in her crazy and but she changes too quickly and easily. She goes from hating Becca to letting her save the day. Can you spend another 3 minutes of movie getting there please? 

The humor is pretty good. The characters are over the top but in a good way. However, a movie targeted at women is not the place to spotlight vomit jokes. There’s a line between well used and gross-that-ain’t-right. Pitch Perfect perforated that line. 

There’s a lot of talent in this cast. The actors were in The Help, 50/50, Hairspray, and Bridesmaids to name a few. This movie came close to utilizing their potential but it was almost not quite.

Pitch Perfect is predictable but fun. The cast is young and pretty so staring at them for 2 hours isn’t difficult. Rebel Wilson is perpetually hilarious. I loved all of the a capella songs and the mash-ups. Some of those needed to be on the soundtrack. Srsly.

Current Music: The Riff-Off by The Barden Bellas, The Trebel Makers, and the BU Harmonics

Cornered by Sandy

Sandy is currently making her way up the coast and has veered away from the DC/Baltimore area and toward New Jersey (insert your own joke here). The federal government is closed, WMATA is closed, universities are closed. Work was canceled for both today and tomorrow for me. I’m crossing my fingers for a power outage giving me Halloween too.

As much as I dislike my job and relish not being there, days like this make me stir crazy. I don’t like feeling cooped up but didn’t seem to be much point in going out with all the hoopla and various closings. If I’d known it wouldn’t suck until four I’d have taken in a movie. I also miss the physical stimulation of going to the gym. I don't have any cardio machines other than the stairs that came with the house.

To keep myself busy I’ve:

-done some hand wash

-put away clean laundry

-read comics

-put away the last of my purchases from Baltimore Comic Con

-watched Magic Mike with my mother (weird mother-daughter bonding moment BTW)

-emptied and reloaded the dishwasher

-worked on a HW assignment for a free on-line class I’m taking

-read

-watched episodes from Big Bang Theory from season 5 I missed the first go around

-played Bejeweled

I’m going to do some of the ab exercises I usually do at the gym. Anyone got an suggestions for physical and mental stimulation when I’m cooped up tomorrow?

Current Music: Skyfall by ADELE

I'm Gonna Love It

Last night I was able to get into an advance screening of Wreck-It Ralph. For those who don’t know (all three of you) this is Disney-Pixar’s latest film. It’s about a video game character who was tired of always being the bad guy. When the arcade is closed and the video game characters can be themselves, many of the villains and heroes hang out. Not in Ralph’s game.

He’s tired of being left out and hated. He wants to be the good guy for once and leaves his video game to try and do it. There was an excellent cast of voice actors for both the major and minor characters. It was a good blend of character actors and better known big names. (Try to figure who is Mindy Kaling and Alan Tudyk.) Despite finding Sarah Silverman incredibly annoying in real life, I loved how she portrayed her character.

The locations were within the games were excellent. Because Ralph’s game is celebrating 30 years, those characters move in a way that shows their retro nature. In Hero’s Duty, it showcased the hi-def of most first person shooters.

The story had everything you would expect out of a Pixar movie: a good plot, a heartbreaking moment, and entertaining characters. As important as the villain ultimately is, I thought (s)he could have used a touch more back story and development. (Since they took our cell phones at the door and wanded us, I will reveal nothing.)

I’d give it a 4.5 out of 5.

Current Music: Bug Hunt (Noisa Remix) by Skillerx

Keep Driving

Have you ever been going somewhere and just want to keep going right past it? Drive through the city. Past the noise and politics and pettiness until you hit nature where you can absorb the quiet. Drown out the din of real life as the breeze whispers to the trees.

Drive away from the beeps, whirs, tweets, and vibrations until you hit a simpler place welcoming you to a simpler time.

Driving to work and then just kept going. Driving until you hit ocean so you can watch your problems wash away on the salt waves. 

Maybe go north until you hit the border. Hoping a completely new place will have new, better problems.

Have you ever just wanted to go and not stop. Keep moving as the road rises to meet you chasing the sun to the place where it sets.

We all think this. We all dream this. What would happen if we actually did it?

Sing It To Me

I had my music going on shuffle to drown out my cube-mates tuneless rendition of some soul song. As the shuffle progressed it started to sound like the soundtrack to a really bizarre courtship. Just using the titles I’ve already created several story arcs that could fit. It’s a fun exercise in imagination and illuminates how under stimulated I am at work.

My Blood – Ellie Goulding

How to Be a Heartbreaker – Marina and the Diamonds

I Didn’t Mean It – The Belle Brigade

Wreck of the Day – Anna Nalick

Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely – BSB

Go – My Favorite Highway

Best of You – Foo Fighters

Eyes Open – Taylor Swift

In the Middle of the Night – Within Temptation

Freak Like Me – Halestorm

The Greatest Light Is the Greatest Shade – The Joy Formidable

May the Best One Win

Since reality competitions became a staple on TV, I’ve seen a variety of programs including Survivor, American Idol, The Swan (don’t get me started), Big Brother, The Amazing Race, etc. The current shows I’m watching are The Voice and Face Off, both in their third season.

The Voice, for those who don’t know, has four famed recording artists choosing a team of singers based on blind auditions. The four artists coach and mentor their respective teams. There are various battle rounds where coaches and/or the viewers will determine the winner. The final winner, the Voice, will get a recording contract among other things.

Face Off is a show where special effects make-up artists compete for several prizes and opportunities. Each week has a spotlight challenge where either prizes or safety are determined and a themed challenge where someone is eliminated. Themes have including recreating the catena scene from Star Wars, zombie Alice in Wonderland characters, disproportionate video game characters, and Chinese dragons.

One of the main things that set these shows apart from most other reality competition shows is that they are nicer. No one is truly out for blood. So many programs reward people for being manipulative and cutthroat but not these. Every contestant has skill. No one is there to be mocked and shamed for the schadenfreude of America.

You see more of a competitive element in The Voice but it is not edited or advertised in a way that promotes the ‘you’re-going-down’ mentality. The criticism is always constructive and never mean. You have to be the best to win but the contestants are gracious and kind. One guy who won his battle round immediately apologized to the girl who lost. As scripted as these can be, the produces didn’t generate that. It’s refreshing for a singing competition to have a more nurturing dynamic.

Face Off is the perfect show if you are tired of the standard reality TV smack down. I have never seen a competition where there was such strong camaraderie between the contestants. If someone’s mold is stuck, others jump in to help. When one of the younger contestants needs help, one of the veterans steps in. Each episode I see them helping, guiding, and praising each other.

One contestant who had been eliminated was allowed to rejoin the cast by winning the spotlight challenge. The remaining contestants were stoked to see everyone again. The girl who won was greeted with hugs and cheers. When someone was sent home that night, one of the girls audibly cried. I only saw one obnoxious diva this season and he lasted one episode.

There are a few reasons for this dynamic other than editing. Each contestant or team is responsible for their own idea and execution. People will step in for small things but if the overall design fails, it falls solely on the team or individual. Sabotage is difficult to accomplish in that situation.

I worked backstage at my college theater. If people on the tech crew hate each other, it makes life harder for everyone. It is so much easier to just get along. The contestants work in an industry where that is the prevailing mentality. They will likely see each other again in their professional lives. Play well now to play well later.

I’m immensely pleased that there are at least two reality shows that continue to garner ratings without Wild Kingdom-style fights and belittling judges. It’s things like this that actually make me want to watch TV.

What Do You Want from Me?

Most men don’t realize how little it takes to keep most women happy. 

The following applies to both genders but men tend to be much simpler. Favorite sport/movie genre, favorite beer, favorite carry-out, and you’re a great SO. Men tend to be happy knowing a woman will put up with them. 

Women are a bit more complicated but not by a lot. You just have to figure yours out.

My coworker’s SO has brought her flowers three times in the last month. When I told him she was going to get spoiled if he kept doing this, he replied “That’s the plan.” A friend of mine wants the three or four times a year at least. It’s a BFD. It can be a bouquet of carnations you grabbed at the grocery store but it’ll help keep her happy. I’m 100% neutral on flowers. Flowers are lovely and I always appreciate the gesture but if I never get them, I don’t care. I know a woman who doesn’t like flowers at all.

I would respond a lot better to a surprise that takes a little more effort or thought but was more subtle. I was coming over to my date’s house and we were probably going to grab carry-out. He surprised me with a lovely home cooked dinner. The flower-hater admitted to being the same way.

Women also require different levels of contact. One friend requires daily communication from her boyfriends. If I’ve been dating someone a while, daily contact is nice but I can’t guarantee I’ll have new and interesting things to say every day. A couple of phone calls and a few texts (on different days) a week will keep me happy. 

The levels of contact are based on the assumption that you will be seeing us on a regular basis. Again, what's regular depends on the woman. I want at least once a week. More is lovely so long as I can get things done. I know women who want more. If you can't meet her standard for regular on a given week, the expectation for contact usually goes up. If you can't see us, we expect you to talk to us to try and make up for it. This rule is suspended and open to negotiation in instances such as military deployment and certain government jobs.

If you royally screw up, a lot of women will appreciate jewelry or a fancy dinner. While I will never say no to these, I’d rather have Caps tickets. I know some women who’d rather have Ravens tickets. You have to find what speaks to her

Bottom line: We need you to make an effort. We need to know and believe you care. Prove to us that we’re important, that this is where you want to be. Getting to know us and utilizing that knowledge is part of that.

There is only one universal: Tell us we’re pretty. Mean it when you say it and don’t overuse it but by god, say it. 

Current Music: Someone Like You by Boys Like Girls

Alphabet Challenge Round 23

V is for Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies: Compendium Monstrum by Bruce Waldman, David Lindroth, and Margaret Rubiano. A pocket sized book about monsters in time for Halloween. Each section provides history, literary and cultural mythos, kill methods, and a geographic map with likely locations.

For something that billed itself as a guide to vampires, werewolves, and zombies, it was extremely one-sided toward vampires. The section on werewolves was lacking and the zombie section borrowed from the vampire section. Whether this is due to the lack of history or literary mythos, the latter two sections were disappointing after all the detail that went into the vampire section. Overall, I’d give it a meh. It was OK but I’ve read more interesting books in this genre.

A - American Virgin by Steven Seagle

B

C

D - Divergent by Veronica Roth

E - Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

F - Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James

G - The Great Fables Crossover by Bill Willingham

H - How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming by Mike Brown

I - I Do But I Don't by Kamy Wicoff

J - Jane Austen Made Me Do It edited by Laurel Ann Nattress

K - Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman

L - A Little Night Magic by Lucy March

M - Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen

N - Naked City edited by Ellen Datlow

O - One of Our Thursdays Is Missing by Jasper Fforde

P - Partials by Dan Wells

Q - Q & A by Vikas Swarup

R - Reality Bites Back by Jennifer L. Pozner

S - Songs of Love and Death edited by George R. R. Martin

T - The Tao of Dating by Ali Binazir

U - Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman

V - Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies by Bruce Waldman et al

W - White Girl Problems by Babe Walker

X - XVI by Julia Karr

Y - Yoga Bitch by Suzanne Morrison

Z - Zoo Story by Thomas French

Current Music: Virtue and Vice by Delain

Complaint Department

I have confirmed that I am quite good at the strongly worded customer service letter. In the last few years, I’ve gotten an upgrade to free shipping, a $5 credit, a free burrito, and a 5 song credit. Since many people complain but don’t always see results, I’m offering a few tips.

Only complain if you have a valid reason – If you become a frequent flyer, you will stop getting rewards for being a perpetual whiner. I am sure they have ways of flagging these kinds of people. If your reason sucks, you won’t get anything. My examples are below.

-My complaint to the Apple store came from a simple question I wanted to email in. The website wouldn’t work enough times I called the help line (which I hate doing). The automated system told me to use the website that wouldn’t let me send the email. Once I finally got my email sent, I told them what a nightmare it was getting the email sent. I got the 5 free song credits along with my answer.

-I ordered some books from Amazon. Normally, they come shrink-wrapped and waiting on my front step. All 5 or 6 books were loose in the box with some of those little air pillows for protection. It was also left out on a day when it was supposed to (and did) rain. I rightly complained and received $5 for my trouble.

Don’t forget good service – If the business you’re complaining too has never wronged you before or has done so infrequently, say so. It gives you more grounds to say how disappointed you are. I am a frequent customer at several restaurants and retailers. I can speak to how service usually is and how this deviates.

Be articulate – Clearly state what the problem was. Make sure they know the situation, the details, and how you felt because of their errors. If you’re angry, frustrated, disappointed, or other emotion make sure you say it as well as reflect it in your tone.

Don’t name call – Whoever is answering your email/call did not cause whatever trouble you’re experiencing.

Don’t swear – Once again, these people catch nonstop crap for something they didn’t do. Swearing makes you sound less intelligent, articulate, and sympathetic.

Get names – If the complaint is about an individual, remember name and/or identifying details. Bossman can’t do anything if he doesn’t know who’s screwing up.

No empty threats – Don’t threaten to take your business elsewhere if you don’t mean it. I no longer shop the cheezburger store for this reason. Threaten to tell others how bad the service was (you probably have already).

Compare to competitors – If they have a popular competitor you also use, say this has never happened with them. Don’t do this if you can’t back it up.

-I had a coupon code I was trying to redeem for a shirt. It did not show up on my emailed statement. When I attempted to use it again for a seasonal shirt, I was denied. I emailed customer service. I didn’t get a response for weeks and ordered my shirt before the expiration date sans discount. I got a response to my second email that the code didn’t show up on statements. I wasn’t offered a further discount or an apology. I emailed them back saying that I was so disappointed in their ‘service’ that I was done being their customer. I’m still repeating the story to this day.

Current Music: Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men

Reach Out and Touch

Whilst radio surfing I heard a Marilyn Manson song that reminded me of a Hilary Duff song my roommate liked in college.

Don’t believe me? Reach out and touch faith. Now reach out and touch me. 

This was the video where Hilary Duff wanted to prove she could slut it up just as well as every Disney pop-tart who went before her. Her song was also released four years after Manson’s song. Despite the similarities, I really don’t want to give Duff that much credit. If she was sampling Manson, it was either due to a producer or sheer accident IMHO.

While I’m not a Manson fan, I got a kick out of this song. Part of it is because I’m spiritual, not religious. Another part because even if I ignore the hell out of my coworker, I still hear her say god, Jesus, lord or some combination of the three about 10 times a day. (I ball-parked it after a week of being severely under stimulated.) Anyone that inflammatory has to make a few good points now and again.

Halloween Reads

Christians are bitching about devil worshippers, stores have sections with pumpkins that talk and more candy than Hershey, PA , one of my dogs has a superhero cape, and there’s suddenly waits for all the creepy movies on NetFlix. Yes, October has finally arrived.

Since I confirmed last month that I really don’t enjoy people scaring the bejesus out of me, I’m embracing a different Halloween tradition: theme reading. I’m going to list some of my favorites and some of my to-reads for this Halloween season. If you have anything to add to the list, I would love to hear about it.

Read It

1) The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman – Perfect for the younger crowd but I adore it as an adult. After his family was killed, Nobody Owens was raised by ghosts, a vampire, a witch, and a few other characters. Despite all that, he’s not entirely safe.

2) Nocturnes by John Connolly – A collection of short stories that are creepy and well written. I learned the hard way this was not bedtime reading.

3) The Gates by John Connolly – Written for a younger audience, this book has demons, monsters, and the end of the world on Halloween. Who’s going to stop it? A boy and his dog.

4) Anything by H. P. Lovecraft or Edgar Allen Poe – The grandfathers of modern horror. You can’t go wrong with anything they’ve got.

5) The Twilight Zone edited by Carol Serling – One of my favorite anthologies, the stories are incredibly reminiscent of the original show.

Currently Reading

1) Halloween Spirits edited by Maria Alexander – So far I’ve found this to be a fun and easy read. Most of the stories take place on Halloween so it’s an inexpensive way to get in the spirit. (I got it for cheap for Kindle).

To Read

1) Dark Harvest by Norman Patridge – It combines monsters, coming of age, small town ennui, and Halloween. It seemed worth a look.

2) Halloween edited by Sarah Langan – I finally bought this after seeing it in bookstores for ages. The Ray Bradbury story is only in the print edition.

3) The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury – Between the name and writer, I was sold.

4) Deadfall Hotel by Steven Rasnic Tem – It’s a more literary look at horror and what scares us.

5) Deadly Treats edited by Ann Frasier – Another inexpensive Kindle collection. It looked like fun.

6) Monster’s Corner edited by Christopher Golden – All the stories are told from the monster’s point of view.

Current Music: Monster Mash by Bobby “Boris” Pickett