Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Summarizing what this season of The Bacherloette should look like

We'll open with 2 bachelorettes and Chris Harrison will pretend to feelbad even though it's his idea. The guys will get to choose the girl. This is a great twist even though we'd never do this to the bachelor guys.

We'll pretend to care about feminism by inviting Amy Schumer on for an episode. That should placate people until we slut shame Kaitlin for kissing all the guys even though Chris Soules did the exact same thing.

Because the 2 bachelorette plot twist can't generate drama for more than 2 episodes, we'll throw in a villain from Andi's. It will piss the existing guys off and bump up ratings.

That should work until Kaitlin is busted for having sex with one of the guys. ABC is owned by Disney and the only permitted reading material for contestants is a Bible so sex is bad. We'll slut shame her like crazy despite sex being a normal part of a healthy relationship. After we bust her like a teenager instead of a 28 year old woman, we'll make her admit it to all the remaining guys to add to the shame.

Let the degradation and feminist criticism begin.

Music: The Verge by Le Tigre

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