Princesses and Zombies

This post was inspired by this BuzzFeed article where Lily James, or live-action Cinderella, guesses which princesses would survive a zombie uprising. I wanted to call a lot of BS on who survives and why.

Snow White - Very unlikely
She is a naive and helpless the entire story. She only survives on the charity of others. If she can use that animal camaraderie on getting violent predators to attack zombies, she could make it. Otherwise, Snow will definitely need that glass coffin back.

Aurora - Die, early
Much like Snow, she exists to be pretty, naive, delicate, and useless in emergencies. Even the fairies charged with her care would be pretty useless. They can't make a cake or dress. How are they going to come up with a battle plan?

Ariel - It Depends
Mermaid Ariel would be fine. Zombies would decay in the water and those that didn't float or decompose would be stuck on the bottom. Merpeople aren't bound by gravity. They can move the same way fish do and would have the luxury of being able to be just out of reach while they slaughter zombies.

Human Ariel would be zombie chum the second they breached the palace walls. She's a wayward teenager with no clue about the world she's living in and, much like the others, is naive and useless in combat.

Belle - Likely
She would be useless in physical combat but her father's an inventor and she reads nonstop. At some point she had to stumble across nonfiction and get some decent ideas about how to protect herself. Her combat skills are weak so without backup she'd be a liability. If Adam is still a beast and his staff still inanimate, they'd be pretty unstoppable. A zombie can't eat a candle or dresser. If everyone's human, things might get dicey. Her odds are good, not great.

Jasmine - Very Likely
A princess with access to her own army, in a hostile environment to zombies, with a genie, a magic carpet, a tiger, and a hubby with intimate knowledge of the streets? She's got this. Even if she's solo, the palace walls are sturdy enough to give her time to think of a back-up plan.

Pocahontas - Lives
Friend of nature and hunter, she would become a complete badass. She knows the land and can probably call in a few favors with bears and wolves.

Mulan - Lives
Cosplays  a man in the Chinese army and no one notices? She could walk among zombies with the right camouflage. She's also a kick-ass soldier who could slay some shambling dead without breaking a sweat.

Merida - Lives
A strong, fierce, independent archer, Merida would lose that teenage angst very quickly and become a better shot than Daryl on TWD.

Tiana - Lives
Tiana is no stranger to hard work and doesn't have time for other people's stupid nonsense. She'd become Michonne PDQ in that situation.

Rapunzel - Likely
We're back to sheltered and naive but Rapunzel had enough spunk to get out of several sticky situations. If she's in the tower and/or has the hair, she'll do OK. She can hoist herself up a tree with the hair and swing down a la Tarzan with a frying pan if the zombies start to cluster. However, I have doubts about her lasting long term. If it's after the haircut, maybe no so much.

Anna - Even Odds
Sheltered her entire life, Anna is completely clueless and only moderately useful when the wolves start attacking. If she had to fight her way through a zombie hoard without Kristoff or Elsa to help, she'd probably wouldn't make it. If someone was around to watch her back and train her, she'd make it by the skin of her teeth.

Elsa - Lives
A master of ice and snow, Elsa could readily create an army of snowmen to take on the ones she couldn't freeze and shatter on her own.

PopSugar Reading Challenge Book 13 Your Majesty

I read Part-Time Princesses in a day while killing time between staffing agency interviews. I picked it up on my last trip to the comic shop because it seemed like fun. It was one of those impulse purchases that worked out well.

Four teenage friends are the A-list at their high school and work summer jobs at the Enchanted Forest theme park as the princesses. The girls get a reality check about the futures they had in mind for themselves and have to help save the park from a crisis that threatens to shut it down.

It was such a fun read that I didn’t even realize I’d downed most of it in an afternoon. The girls are interesting characters but suffer from the ‘I’m popular, why should I talk to you’ syndrome. I disliked the stereotype but enjoyed seeing them taken down a peg in a way that made them improve as people.

It’s another good example of how graphic novels are more than superheroes and monsters. Definitely recommend.

Music: Lux Aeterna by Two Steps from Hell