Boy Toy has been on
vacation with his family for the last 3.5 weeks. It was in Middle of Nowhere,
New York where the wi-fi is sporadic and the cell reception is spotty at best.
Week 1 was his immediate family and Week 2 was his extended family. His mother
is 1 of 11 so he was busy that week. Today he finally leaves to sally forth
into the land of communication.
If I’m being honest
with myself, I like something every
day. I don’t mean a long conversation but a text, a funny picture on FB, a
response to a text, something small. I can go a day with no contact but a full
48 of nothing and I start getting irked.
Boy Toy and I usually
have a mid-week phone call and see a lot of each other on the weekends. Because
of the circumstances, we’ve spoken on the phone twice and he’s emailed me ~3
times since the first weekend in August. I’ve grown accustomed to him being
there or at least reachable. This has been really hard.
I have no idea how
military families do this kind of thing. I need the person I’m dating to be around.
If you’re not around, you miss stuff. If you miss enough stuff, it starts to
affect the relationship. Once it does that you have to work harder to keep it
good. Eventually you get tired of all the work. I’ve seen it happen to a lot of
friends. If I was ever with someone and one of us had to move, it would be come
along or break-up. Distance only works for a finite amount of time.
Boy Toy’s absence isn’t
permanent but if we can’t get together until Friday, it will have been 4 weeks
since we last saw each other. I’ve never been in a situation like this before.
I can say with certainty that I hate it. I hate it a lot.
There have been
moments where I’ve felt the distance. Either because I can’t call him about
something that happened or I try to reach him and don’t get anything back.
Getting no response to a text or email bothers me on a good day. Saying “I miss
you” and hearing “I’ll be back soon” wasn’t helpful either. Nothing like a lack
of reciprocity to make me feel better. (FYI guys, when a girl says she misses
you and you don’t say it back, many of us wonder if we’re too old for
take-backs.)
I’m somewhere between
excited to have him back and so over him being gone. I miss stupid little stuff
like the noise he makes when he’s pleasantly surprised and holding hands. I’m sick of sending
stuff and getting radio silence. It's all the quiet of being single with all the annoyances of a relationship. In other words, this blows.
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