Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Here Without You


Boy Toy has been on vacation with his family for the last 3.5 weeks. It was in Middle of Nowhere, New York where the wi-fi is sporadic and the cell reception is spotty at best. Week 1 was his immediate family and Week 2 was his extended family. His mother is 1 of 11 so he was busy that week. Today he finally leaves to sally forth into the land of communication.

If I’m being honest with myself, I like something every day. I don’t mean a long conversation but a text, a funny picture on FB, a response to a text, something small. I can go a day with no contact but a full 48 of nothing and I start getting irked.

Boy Toy and I usually have a mid-week phone call and see a lot of each other on the weekends. Because of the circumstances, we’ve spoken on the phone twice and he’s emailed me ~3 times since the first weekend in August. I’ve grown accustomed to him being there or at least reachable. This has been really hard.

I have no idea how military families do this kind of thing. I need the person I’m dating to be around. If you’re not around, you miss stuff. If you miss enough stuff, it starts to affect the relationship. Once it does that you have to work harder to keep it good. Eventually you get tired of all the work. I’ve seen it happen to a lot of friends. If I was ever with someone and one of us had to move, it would be come along or break-up. Distance only works for a finite amount of time.

Boy Toy’s absence isn’t permanent but if we can’t get together until Friday, it will have been 4 weeks since we last saw each other. I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I can say with certainty that I hate it. I hate it a lot.

There have been moments where I’ve felt the distance. Either because I can’t call him about something that happened or I try to reach him and don’t get anything back. Getting no response to a text or email bothers me on a good day. Saying “I miss you” and hearing “I’ll be back soon” wasn’t helpful either. Nothing like a lack of reciprocity to make me feel better. (FYI guys, when a girl says she misses you and you don’t say it back, many of us wonder if we’re too old for take-backs.)

I’m somewhere between excited to have him back and so over him being gone. I miss stupid little stuff like the noise he makes when he’s pleasantly surprised and holding hands. I’m sick of sending stuff and getting radio silence. It's all the quiet of being single with all the annoyances of a relationship. In other words, this blows.

Music: The Distance by Evan & Jaron

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