Drama

I always say that my favorite kind of drama is best described in 2 words: not mine. I guess the universe thought I need to be my own source of entertainment because I got a Facebook friend request from an ex last night.

We started dating when I was 20 and were together for 2 ½ years. I explain the demise of that relationship with how he acted after it was over. At the age of 29 he posted a Facebook note announcing our break-up and saying that if people wanted to stop being friends with him out of loyalty to me, he’d understand. He tagged 20 people we met while we were together but avoided anyone who might actually have any loyalty to me.

Two years ago I got a message from him asking if we could be friends. I could either shoot him down directly or ask why. I’m ever curious so I asked why. He claimed he wanted to see if we could and didn’t want bad blood. I reminded him of that stupid note. He apologized and reminded me the friend who introduced us had a birthday coming up. I told him I was out of town and I didn’t want his apologies.

Last night I got a friend request from him. I would say it was out of nowhere but I’d recently been thinking about how happy I am with Boy Toy and how glad guys like that aren’t in my life anymore. I kind of set myself up for this.

There’s no vicarious drama going on so I might as well enjoy my own. Below is the series of messages we sent each other.

Me: What do you want?

Ex: Do I have to want anything? Do you really still hate me?

Me: I don’t hate you but I thought I made it clear that I have no interest in being friends. I wish you the best but I didn’t want you in my life 2 years ago and I don’t want you in my life now.

Ex: Then apologize. You know I don’t just thrust people out of my life unless I truly despise them. Forgive me.

Me: You didn’t thrust me out of your life. I left voluntarily. I’m really happy with my life. I’m in a great relationship and have great friends. There is no place for you in my life. I wish you the best. Please stop reaching out.

Ex: Yes you did. Happy for you. I will.

I have no idea if he wanted an apology or if he meant to say “Then I apologize.” If it’s not a typo, he is so out of line. He’s the one reaching out to me and I have nothing to be sorry for, then or now. I’m truly offended that he told me to forgive him. The only thing I have to do is pay taxes and die. Forgiveness is optional.

I think it really bothers him that he doesn’t get a say in this. Suggesting he thrust me out of his life implies agency. I was more than happy to walk away. He doesn’t get to decide if I come back.

I always suspected he wanted back in because he realized he was never going to do any better. Maybe finally telling him I’m in a good relationship and there is no place for him will get him to give up and move on. I also blocked him so should help too.

Music: Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson