Enough Is Enough

I read this article on Cracked about why we really hate the Kardashians. He’s pretty spot on with a lot of his points but I don’t 100% agree with everything.

I didn’t rage about finding out about Lamar Odom’s big crisis. Khloe is the least annoying Kardashian and she was still legally his wife. When she put the divorce on hold to handle this crisis, I thought, “That makes sense,” and went about my life.

I spend no time deliberately thinking about that fame-whore family but our media makes it near impossible to avoid them. Recommended links on CNN or Facebook, rants on other social media just perpetuate their hold over our culture. Brown says it best:

“All those blogs and magazines and news sites don't talk about Kim Kardashian because they care about her, they do it because you care about her, and the frustrated comments you leave and the links you anger-share on your Facebook page do nothing to make that less true.”

Most people love to hate them because we all love a common enemy. Why do you think Speidi was a thing 10 years ago? I saw an article about Kim complaining how fat she was this late in her pregnancy. I saw red but knew posting anything would just perpetuate their status in our culture so I just resumed my regular life.

I think they’re vapid, materialistic, and useless. What good thing have any of them done with their fame and fortune? Before you say the domestic violence PSAs, they didn’t consent to those. That was an artist and photoshop.

That’s what makes the history of genocide and persecution their ancestors escaped that much sadder. They fled to survive and many of their descendants haven’t actually done any good in the world. Robert Kardashian helped a murderer go free. All of the women help perpetuate a shallow, image conscious ideal on young girls.

I will grant these fools their ability to capitalize on this medium and monetize their fame. That doesn’t make them smart. That makes them one step down from a savant. They’re not intelligent and they’re not worth our time. 

Not Worth the Wait

One thing that has always bugged me about ADELE was that she never did anything to stay relevant while taking time to raise her son. Her social media presence was nonexistent, she didn’t do any covers or charity concerts, no major appearances. While I think it’s great she was able to lie low, I feel disrespected as a fan. We’re great when she wants to make money for her art but otherwise, whatever.

I do like that she didn’t do the insane amount of media hype for her new music. We found out she had a new song when the video debuted and we could download it. It wasn’t like Katy Perry doing very dramatic stunts to hype her singles and albums. There it was. Because Adele is incredibly talented, we all accepted it.

Adele said the reason she waited so long to do anything was because she was afraid of making a lackluster product. Unfortunately, I think that’s exactly what she did. There was one song on her album that instantly grabbed me like ‘Turning Tables’ and ‘One and Only.’ River Lea was not good enough to make up for a prolonged absence and an underwhelming record.

Am I saying it’s not good? No. It’s a good record. I don’t think any song on it is bad. But 21 set such a high bar that anything less is disappointing. It’s good and will probably grow on me with more plays but on the first couple of listens, 25 can’t hold a candle to 21. You can’t follow up phenomenal with something that’s just good.

Shore Leave Part 1

This past weekend was Shore Leave! A fun, fan run sci-fi con in Baltimore County. The guest list had John Barrowman, Jamie Murray, Jesse Rath, Tony Curran, Daniel Davis, David Nykl, and Rekha Sharma.

John Barrowman was AMAZING!!! I hope to do a more detailed post later but he was hilarious, sassy, sexy, and heartfelt. The relationship between Jaime, Jesse, and Tony was clear and made them so much fun. When they were presented with their Shore Leave bunnies, Jesse looked at Jaime and said “I wanted Kirk. Trade?” and they swapped bunnies on stage. It was very funny. John said the bunny would be in good company with Easter kitty who shows up in a lot of his photos. The Defiance trio said they may make a background appearance in Defiance if they get a 4^th season.

I think that’s my favorite thing about a lot of the guests at Shore Leave: most of them really appreciate their fans. They know without us, they don’t get to live the dream. 

I think my most memorable moment was when I was walking past Rekha’s autograph area and saw her. She’s very slim and about eye level with my throat. The first words out of my mouth were “You’re so tiny.” I genuinely think she’s smaller than she was on Battlestar but she made a comment about the camera adding 10 pounds. I said that seeing them on screen, they also appear bigger than life.

The average American woman is 5’4 and many Indian woman are smaller than that. Celebrities are still people at the end of the day and subject to the same rules as the rest of us. Actresses are more likely to be slim because the business says so but they also follow the same height rules. The average American man is 5’9, my height. Seeing our heroes on screen in these worlds we escape to, playing characters we can only dream about being, we forget that they’re just people with a cooler job. Ms. Sharma was very nice

As far as spending goes, I spent more than I should have, as always but not on what I usually do. My normal big splurge has been clothes and jewelry. This weekend I couldn’t seem to say no to books. More on that later.

It was Boyfriend’s first Shore Leave. He had a lot of fun and enjoyed staying long enough to hear David Nykl. He sounds very interesting and I would love to watch Stargate if they ever put it on streaming.

PopSugar Reading Challenge Book 7 or Catty Burglars

For ‘based on a true story’ I read The Bling Ring by Nancy Jo Sales. I saw the movie by Sofia Coppolla and decided to get the whole story. As interesting as this tale is, I don’t have strong feelings about it.

It read like a longer, more detailed article than the one that originally postedin Vanity Fair. It was broken up in a similar way to a magazine article and the tone was very comparable. Sales remains the teller of facts rather than the caster of judgments. The consummate journalist, Sales is trying to get the kids to tell their story rather than narrate her own ideas about it.

Sales definitely has an opinion on some of these kids. You can find her contempt for Alexis Neiers in their conversation about karma. I would have been curious to hear more about what the working mother thought of this interesting assortment of law breakers. Criminal loving Courtney, mastermind Rachel, shallow reality star hopeful Alexis, or the humbled Nick.

As much as I enjoyed hearing the facts, I wanted to hear about who needed to be slapped as well. I left all of this feeling very much on the outside looking in. I needed more than Sales was able to get to feel satisfied.

Current Music: Just Like My Heart by Fault Lines

STFU Kanye. Nobody Cares What You Think

Everyone is talking about Kanye West crapping all over Beck’s Grammy so I might as well throw in my two cents. Buzzfeed has an amazing list explaining why Beck was more deserving of the Grammy than Beyonce this year and I especially agree with points 1, 3, and 4. Beck’s album has better lyrics, he wrote them all himself, and he played an insane amount of instruments on his album. I found the album to be a little sleepy in sound but the amount of work he put into is remarkable.

What gives Kanye West the right to decide who is and is not deserving of awards? He has no idea what goes into these awards and how these decisions are made. All he knows is his friend isn’t getting the props he thinks she deserves. I doubt he wants to know anymore. If the world is not the way he thinks it should be, it’s wrong.

Does West make good music? Sure. It’s not my favorite but he’s good at what he does. Does that give him the authority to take things away from Taylor Swift and Beck neither of whom he knows? Absolutely not. Honestly, I know someone a lot like him. He thinks he knows better than everyone else, isn’t interested in facts that might alter his point of view, and doesn’t realize that he’s not that goddman special. I think very little of this person just like I think very little of West.

We need to stop tolerating behavior like this because that person is famous, skilled, or to avoid the ensuing drama of informing them their shit does, in fact, stink. Man-children like this aren’t going to get better or stop making everyone’s life difficult until we put them in a time out and make them think about why they’re really not that much better than the rest of us.

PopSugar Reading Challenge Book 4 with NPH

I just finished the memoir for this list. Choose Your Own Autobiography by Neil Patrick Harris was delightful.

True to his word, he let you jump around and choose your own adventure. If you wanted to pursue your theater career, he let you fast track that story. If you wanted to work on your sexuality, he let you focus on that ‘storyline.’ Harris even threw in a few alternate endings that were usually hilarious and ended within a page. Because it let you choose the narrative, it was a second person point of view. It was interesting to read someone else’s life story from ‘your’ eyes.

There were several letters from friends, a fake magazine interview, and a few other fun bonus features. I managed to catch them all because I’m boring and read it in order. Occasionally I’d jump around or back but it works if you read it in order. I think one of my favorite pieces of his life story was his fortieth birthday adventure that was put together by everyone who loved him. I’ve heard it said that theater is a true actor’s medium and NPH shows he loves acting, not the fame, by how much he throws himself into his stage roles. I can only hope that a DVD of him as Hedwig will come to exist one day.

Fans of NPH, Dr. Horrible, HIMYM, Doogie, and anything he’s touched should read this book. It’s a fun read no matter your fandom but if you don’t know and love NPH, you’ll be missing something (most likely because you’re dead inside).

Spelling Trouble

I don’t think I ever admitted this before in print but I’m kind of a fan of Tori Spelling. I’ve never seen 90210 or any of her movies. I got to know her once she started making her living off her own life.

I read her first book when I was in college. It was a her first tell-all including details about her feud with her mother. It was a BFD at the time. Home on break I discovered her Oxygen reality show. It became my go-to trash TV. 

Unlike The Hills or The Kardashians which were big at the time, Tori Spelling didn’t seem like a privileged brat. She always seemed gracious, sweet, and very down-to-earth for Aarond Spelling’s daughter. She seemed like she’d be a good friend and fun.

I have no doubt she’s more into fashion than literature or feminism but I have to respect how hard she works. She has a variety of professional endeavors that she had to balance with marriage and a family. I’m sure she’s clueless to some of what us normal folk do but she’s not a bad person. 

I was in the grocery store with The Boy recently when I saw Us weekly talking about Dean McDermott’s one night stand. I don’t know what level of truth there is here but it doesn’t seem impossible.

Spelling often described her husband as her soulmate and Prince Charming, not unlike Bella from a few entires ago. Tori may have spread herself too thin with work or been too devoted to her children giving only what little was left to her marriage. It may be the lack of sex that results from having 4 young children.

Some of the tabloid sites are saying that Tori doesn’t want to leave because of their four kids and her image. Much of her current brand is related to her being a wife and mother. If that falls apart, she’ll have to reinvent herself or risk loosing a big part of her career.

In the final seasons of their show Tori let the world see the problems arising in her marriage. Relationships ebb and flow and couples fight. However back in May she was saying how glad she was her marriage to her soulmate never had the seven year itch.

Every couple has its problems and no one can really know what goes on in a marriage except the people in it. But as a nosey pop culture junkie, I can poke around what’s out there. I still have her first book and got the next two from an evil online retailer with amazing prices. I’ll get the fourth from the library.

Am I terrible for wanting to delve more into her life as she’s facing a huge personal crisis? Or is that just the risk when you make you living off your reality being someone else’s entertainment?

Music: Dirty Laundry by Lisa Presley

I Do, A Little

Kelly Clarkson got married last weekend. I was a little swamped to say too much about it here since I was out of town for a wedding with The Boy (more on that later).

Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock flew out to a picturesque Blackberry Farm in Tennessee with his children. The ceremony was so intimate that the siblings and parents of the couple weren’t invited. Clarkson’s brother didn’t hear about it until a tabloid called to ask him about it.

I feel a little bad for the family of the couple. People reported that the Blackstocks had a big family shindig about a week before the wedding. Maybe that was in place of inviting people to an actual ceremony but if I was immediate family, I wouldn’t appreciate being so totally excluded. The brother said it was fine because they live their lives in the spotlight but that’s only partly true.

If you search Brandon Blackstock and Kelly Clarkson, there aren’t that many photos of them together. I looked them up and saw the same dozen photos pre-wedding, most from award shows or public events. She lives her life in the spotlight while Blackstock is a behind the scenes guy the public hadn’t heard of before she started dating him.

The amount of her life Clarkson makes available to the public is part of what I love about her. She released photos of the wedding right away and gave her fans a short video of the whole affair. The accessibility she allows is wonderful and makes her incredibly relatable. It just made me a little sad the whole world saw it at the same time her family did.

I love Clarkson and Blackstock together. I think they’re almost a rom-com stereotype and have a great love story. You can see his influence in some song titles on her upcoming album (Brandon’s Song and Four Carats). I wish them all the happiness life can offer. After spending a weekend with The Boy’s extended family for a wedding, I think including your family in your big moments is part of that.

Music: A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton

Flat Ironing Something Else

I’m mostly neutral about plastic surgery. I strongly believe in reconstructive surgery and wouldn’t say ‘never’ about getting a facelift in my later years. That being said, some people are just nuts. (The pun was a happy coincidence)

George Clooney claims to have gotten his balls ironed. The procedure is called a scrotal lift and it smoothes out the wrinkled skin around the testicles. After reading the book on men’s health and a bit of Googling, this is absolutely a thing. I suspect it is often done by men with too much money and an excess of ego but there’s at least one doctor in New Jersey who makes a pretty penny doing this.

Some folks are sure whether Clooney is joking or serious. Most of the articles have a humorous tone and there are more than a few articles. People seem to be making a pretty big deal out of this considering vaginal rejuvenation is a thing and has been for many years.

If you’re unfamiliar with vaginal rejuvenation, it’s a surgery that changes the visual aesthetic of the vulva, tightens the vagina muscles, or both. ‘Revirginize’ entered our lexicon as this procedure gained popularity. The procedure can be harmless and do what it intends but it can decrease sensitivity and even make sex painful.

Some feminists believe (rightly IMHO) this procedure became popular with the rise of pornography. Once men had a skewed idea of what that was supposed to look like, women started appearing in plastic surgeons offices with pictures from Playboy. I’m hoping the men with these expectations are only a very specific kind.

Wikipedia would have you believe vaginal rejuvenation is done for reconstructive purposes. I’m sure it started that way but I have no doubt most procedures are done voluntarily. Personally, I’ve always thought this was a twisted idea. If he doesn’t think it’s fabulous, find someone who does. And BTW, it’s not like your nutsack is a work of art.

And that brings us back to our original point. When I root for equality, a gential plastic surgery folie a deux wasn’t what I was rooting for. But the tone people take toward Clooney’s maybe procedure is disconcerting when compared with the tones taken toward ‘improving’ women’s vaginas. I’m still waiting for a legit explanation as to why any of this was not completely crazy.

Music: Death of a Movie Star by The Murder of My Sweet