Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Flat Ironing Something Else


I’m mostly neutral about plastic surgery. I strongly believe in reconstructive surgery and wouldn’t say ‘never’ about getting a facelift in my later years. That being said, some people are just nuts. (The pun was a happy coincidence)

George Clooney claims to have gotten his balls ironed. The procedure is called a scrotal lift and it smoothes out the wrinkled skin around the testicles. After reading the book on men’s health and a bit of Googling, this is absolutely a thing. I suspect it is often done by men with too much money and an excess of ego but there’s at least one doctor in New Jersey who makes a pretty penny doing this.

Some folks are sure whether Clooney is joking or serious. Most of the articles have a humorous tone and there are more than a few articles. People seem to be making a pretty big deal out of this considering vaginal rejuvenation is a thing and has been for many years.

If you’re unfamiliar with vaginal rejuvenation, it’s a surgery that changes the visual aesthetic of the vulva, tightens the vagina muscles, or both. ‘Revirginize’ entered our lexicon as this procedure gained popularity. The procedure can be harmless and do what it intends but it can decrease sensitivity and even make sex painful.

Some feminists believe (rightly IMHO) this procedure became popular with the rise of pornography. Once men had a skewed idea of what that was supposed to look like, women started appearing in plastic surgeons offices with pictures from Playboy. I’m hoping the men with these expectations are only a very specific kind.

Wikipedia would have you believe vaginal rejuvenation is done for reconstructive purposes. I’m sure it started that way but I have no doubt most procedures are done voluntarily. Personally, I’ve always thought this was a twisted idea. If he doesn’t think it’s fabulous, find someone who does. And BTW, it’s not like your nutsack is a work of art.

And that brings us back to our original point. When I root for equality, a gential plastic surgery folie a deux wasn’t what I was rooting for. But the tone people take toward Clooney’s maybe procedure is disconcerting when compared with the tones taken toward ‘improving’ women’s vaginas. I’m still waiting for a legit explanation as to why any of this was not completely crazy.

Music: Death of a Movie Star by The Murder of My Sweet

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