I am astounded by the
level of denial some women maintain. What is it about love and the quest to be
paired off that makes smart women so stupid?
I listen to the Kane show
and last week they took a call from this girl Jamie. Her boyfriend was away for
a few weeks and she decided to surprise him by moving in. I can usually follow
the thought train of most women’s crazy. I’ve got nothing. This chick is out of
her mind if she saw this ending well.
I missed the original
call but today was the follow up. Jamie’s staying with a friend. She’s still
with the boyfriend but they’re taking things slowly, might even be on a break. Dani
put it the best “Moving in is a ‘we’ decision, not a ‘me’ decision.” They all
advised her to back off. If she gives him space, Kane says he’ll eventually ask
her to move in. Dani says that they’ll be broken up within a year.
I’m with Dani. That’s
a lot of crazy to sign up for. I don’t know why the guy didn’t break up with
her. If this happened to one of my guy friend’s, I’d tell him to run. If one of
my girlfriends decided to do this, I’d slap her. This kind of stupid is a
refusal to see reason and the other person’s perspective. The next kind is a refusal
to see reality.
A friend of a
coworker I’ll call Jane has been dating someone for almost a year. John was in
a serious long-term relationship before and hadn’t been single for too long
before Jane. She fell hard and fast. After a few months she asked where the
relationship was going. He wanted more time to think about it. She tried
bringing it up again a couple of times but he always dodged and evaded even
after Jane admitted she wasn’t, nor did she want to, date anyone else.
After entirely too
long, John finally made Jane his exclusive girlfriend. Jane was thrilled and is
still moon brained about him. After some recent information I’m wondering if
Jane left her brain on the moon. She found out why John always dodged her
questions about commitment: He was dating other women.
This guy spent about two-thirds
of their relationship engaged in a lie of omission. Jane and John spent couple
days talking about it and now everything is rainbows and kittens. Pardon me
while I go slam my head into a wall.
I know love makes you
blind but he spent most of your relationship lying to you. That shouldn’t be
something you just forgive. If he wants to date other women, fine. Grown-ups
talk about these things. Shady guys who want all the benefits of a girlfriend
with none of the responsibility lie about them.
In both instances
these women sound desperate and immature. A relationship needs time and space
to grow and prepare for cohabitation. Ambush cohabitation is not a sign of a
good relationship. On the flip side, if he refuses to commit or even talk about
it, you have to ask yourself why. Ere too long reasons become excuses and
you’re wasting your time.
Would you be OK with
your BFF getting more invested in a guy who can’t commit after six months? How
would you feel if your brother’s girlfriend surprise cohabitated? If it’s not
acceptable for people you care about, it shouldn’t be acceptable for you.
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