The Notable, Quotable Caitlin Moran

I just finished her first book How to Be a Woman. Here are some memorable quotes for your enjoyment.

Being polite is possibly the greatest contribution everyone can make to life on earth. –on life

This is like an annual convention for Bad Husband Material. –on visiting a strip club

Personally I wouldn’t spend £21,000 on anything that didn’t have either (a) doors and windows or (b) the ability to grant me three wishes. –on weddings

Do you really want “all the people I love” in one room together? It rarely works out well. –on weddings

When else do you get named something else? On joining a nunnery, or becoming a porn star. As ostensibly joyful celebration of love, that’s bad company to be in. –on marriage

All the other women are “putting together outfits” and “working on their looks.” I am just “putting together the cleanest things.” –on fashion

There are only ten people in the world, tops, who should actually wear heels. And six of those are drag queens. –on wearing heels

If I’m going to spend $500 on a pair of designer shoes, it’s going to be a pair that I can (a) dance to “Bad Romance” in and (b) will allow me to run away from a murderer, should one suddenly decide to give chase. –on wearing heels

Apart from shoes, a handbag is the only item you’re never too fat to fit into. No one ever got dysmorphic or weepy from trying on a tote. –on fashion

When a woman says, “I have nothing to wear!” what she really means is “There’s nothing here for who I am supposed to be today.” –on fashion

Fashion is for standing still and being photographed. Clothes, on the other hand, are for our actual lives –on fashion

Batman doesn’t want a baby in order to feel he’s “done everything.” He’s just saved Gotham again! IF this means that Batman must be a feminine role model above, say, Hillary Clinton, then so be it. –on feminist role models

Ultimately, I think it’s going to be very difficult to oppress a generation of teenage girls who’ve grown-up with a liberal, literate, bisexual pop star who shoots fireworks out of her bra and was listed as Forbes magazine’s seventh most powerful celebrity in the world. –On Lady Gaga

I’ve read more about Oprah Winfrey’s arse than I have about China as an economic superpower –on the media’s treatment of women

In the 21^st century, any woman, succeeding in any arena does not need “humanizing.” There are absolutely not exceptions to this. –on ‘humanizing’ celebrities

I cannot understand antiabortion arguments that center on the sanctity of life. As a species, we’ve fairly comprehensively demonstrated that we don’t believe in the sanctity of life. The shrugging acceptance of war, famine, epidemic, pain, and lifelong grinning poverty show us that, whatever we tell ourselves, we’ve made only the most feeble of efforts to really treat human life as sacred. –on abortion

By whatever rationale you use, ending a pregnancy at 12 weeks into gestation is incalculably more moral than bringing an unwanted child into this world. It’s those unhappy, unwanted children who then grew into angry adults, who have caused the great majority of humankind’s miseries. –on abortion

Music: Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette