Skeletor in Bridal

I discovered something recently that I think is absolutely brilliant: Target makes wedding dresses. If I were planning a wedding on a tight budget, I would totally consider getting married in one of these. The only downside is that I probably couldn’t dye it purple. They do come in other colors since several are designed to be bridesmaid dresses.

Since Target makes super cheap gowns, I thought I’d see what else is out there. I poked around David’s Bridal in the under $600 dollar section. They have a lot of great options for brides on budgets. It’s just a pity most of those options are alarmingly identical.

Seriously I don’t know how many ways you can reincarnate white satin but after so long, the dresses become difficult to tell apart. One dress stood out a little but most of them just bored me. I know you get the more interesting stuff when you spend more money but there are bound to be more interesting party dresses for better prices.

If I ever get married I want to wear some combination of white and purple so I nosed around bridesmaid dresses. Much like bridal, none of the dresses stood out which is kind of the point of bridesmaid dresses. One of the models stood out but for all the wrong reasons.

If the camera adds five pounds, does that mean this woman doesn’t exist?

When I first saw this picture, I jumped a little bit. She reminded me of some skeletal demon out of horror movie. I showed her picture to a bunch of my guy friends and they were just as freaked as me. One said she reminded him of starving children in Africa.

I thought most places were trying to cut back on unhealthy models. The Target models are small but they don’t look like ads for world hunger. I want to tie her down and force feed her a la Se7en but only until her clothing size is an actual number. I don’t know if I’ll ever get married but I won’t be looking at David’s Bridal until they get models that eat food.

Disclaimer: I know at least one of you will be thinking this so I’ll just say it. While things are going well with Boy Toy, they have not been going well long enough for me to even consider the above an option. Should it continue to go well into the next hockey season and meeting the families never say never.

Music: Real Girls by Chantel Claret

Run for It

I don’t know if I ever mentioned this but Boy Toy is pretty fit. He’s a runner so he has awesome legs (and a decent butt). One time before I came over he ran three miles. He also has four pack abs he’s looking to enhance. He’s also really lean. I can get most of my hand around his middle. How I ended up dating a lanky runner still baffles me but I’m enjoying it.

I have decent abs as well. They’re just hidden under a protective layer of jet puff fluff. After various bad dating experiences I thought “It’s me. No one’s looking that hard.” I’m naturally big boned and my body holds weight well so this system worked for a while. Now I’ve started dating someone in good shape I’m motivated to actually try at the gym. I’ve seriously considered force feeding his fit white boy ass doughnuts instead.

Between dating a runner and know several more, I thought I’d try that. With so many people doing it’s clearly effective and simple. I did my homework about how to start from near nothing and started a walk/run thing. When you’re starting from near nothing, it sucks. I was seriously starting to loathe it. My mantra became “I hate dating someone in better shape than me.”

Yesterday I finally had a good walk/run. I only thought about force feeding Boy Toy sugary junk, like, twice in 35 minutes. I kind of enjoyed it. I’ve had ‘runner’s high’ before doing something else. This wasn’t quite that strong but it’s nice to know I’ve made progress.

Breathing is still a bitch. I was asthmatic as a kid and some of it has carried into adulthood. I still can’t run for more than a couple of minutes without huffing and puffing like I’m gonna blow the place down. I’m not sure if it will ever go away completely but I’m working on it. I did some reading and found some Pilates intro videos that talk about it. We’ll see what happens.

Music: People Like Us – Kelly Clarkson

Doctor Her

It was just announced that Matt Smith will be ending his run as the Doctor on BBC’s famous sci-fi series Doctor Who later this year. He will regenerate in the Christmas episode.

People have been clamoring for a female Doctor for a long time. Some even have suggestions as to who it should be. I would love to see a female Doctor. He’s never been a woman so the Doctor has no idea what it’s like. It would be incredibly enlightening to see how he reacts to his power being taken away if he winds up in the wrong century.

It also begs the question of how they would resolve the companions. The Doctor is full of knowledge and authority. Would they write a female Doctor to stay that way with a male companion? Would she be young or older? Would she be fiery, sweet, determined, stubborn, or something totally different?

Slate pointed out that female characters under Moffat’s watch have gotten younger, prettier, less developed and less useful than past female companions. Martha was very intelligent and Donna underwent a great deal of character development. Amy was much younger and while I liked her, she offered less to the series than the previous two companions. I know Clara is supposed to be this big mystery but I feel like she’s almost acting like a placeholder until they decide what to do with her.

I think Davies had the show driven almost equally by plot and by characters. Under Moffat the show has become much more plot driven. I think some of the story lines are absolutely brilliant but I know almost nothing about Clara. Amy had a life and a love. What does Clara have? The Doctor immediately liked her and I’ll be damned if I can figure out why. I don’t see the point of Clara as a character.

I haven’t finished 7.2 yet but I’m 3 episodes away so I’ve seen most of it. I hope she gets more interesting. One of my friends said the season finale will “either clarify everything or make you wonder why they even bothered.” My money’s on the latter.

I don’t think the next Doctor will be female. I would be in all sorts of shock if it happened. The Slate article said tradition is the last refuge of sexism but few western cultures love tradition more than the Brits. I think if Doctor Who ended and restarted again in so many odd years, it would happen but not this time.

Music: Prehistoric by Now, Now

Just a Suggestion

I organize a board game group on MeetUp.com a couple of times a month. The third monthly MeetUp is always a theme I choose. I usually keep it to stuff people know and mention liking such as trivia, word, or party games.

The upcoming MeetUp is Word Games. We had a woman join in the last few days who said she’d like to come if language isn’t too necessary. One regular commented that the theme “is more of a suggestion.”

I pick the themes as they pertain to members of this group. Most members say they like party, trivia, or word games. I plan a couple of months out and rotate the themes throughout the year. Thought and effort goes into what theme happens what day.

I’m not a game Nazi going insisting “You must play word games” but saying it’s a suggestion is belittling. I don’t have to pick a theme relevant to people’s interests. I don’t have to organize anything at all.

I know he meant people will have off-theme games and if he knew I was offended he’d feel bad. I won’t rule out making a snarky comment day of but there’s no way this would come out well in writing. He’s a regular so he appreciates what I do. He just said the wrong thing. Still bugs me.

Music: Babel by Mumford & Sons

Home Sweet Own Book 16

For Pop Science I read Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth about Men and Sex by Abraham Morgentaler, MD. I bought it because it seemed a worthwhile read since I reentered the dating world. Both men and women should give this a look.

Anyone who took sex ed knows the fundamentals of the biology but it’s really interesting to get the refresher as an adult. There was a lot more information than I got in 7^th grade. The role of the prostate for pleasure and biological function, the impact of testosterone on men’s overall wellbeing, and how men without testicles can have sex to name a few. It was exceptionally enlightening.

In addition to the biology, Morgentaler also included several anecdotes such as the twentysomething who faked it, the different effects of male menopause, or the guy who lost both testicles and wanted silicone implants. The human element really makes this book. Not only do you get inside of men’s bodies, you get inside their heads. Most men care more about satisfying their partner than themselves.

Men are just as complicated as women. A lot of their identity is tied into their penis and its functionality but men are not as emotionally shallow as the media makes them.

1) Fiction 

2) Nonfiction – The Man Who Loved Books Too Much by Allison Hoover Bartlett

3) Sci-Fi – Redshirts by John Scalzi

4) Fantasy 

5) Mystery 

6) Horror 

7) Memoir/Biography – Data, A Love Story by Amy Webb

8) Chick Lit – Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter

9) Feminist – Commencement by J. Courtney Sullivan

10) Teen – What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen

11) Holiday 

12) Essays – What Was I Thinking? ed. by Barbara Davilman & Liz Dubelman

13) Short Stories 

14) Library 

15) Animal 

16) Book about Books – Judging a Book By Its Lover by Lauren Leto

17) New – Pitch Perfect by Mickey Rapkin

18) Old – Dark and Stormy Knights edited by P. N. Elrod

19) Pop Science – Why Men Fake It by Abraham Morgentaler, MD

20) Near 

21) Far 

22) Graphic Novel – Love and Capes: Do You Want to Know a Secret? by Thomas F. Zahler

23) Reread – Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

24) Wild Card 

25) Otherworldly Creature 

26) Free – Point Your Face at This by Demetri Martin

27) Noteworthy 

28) Bestseller 

29) Themed Anthology – Red edited by Kris Goldsmith

30) Steampunk 

31) Movie-Book 

32) Media  

33) Travel 

34) Food 

35) Classic 

36) Humor 

37) Poetry 

38) Past – Stasiland by Anna Funder

39) Future 

40) Dystopia/Post-Apocalyptic 

41) Zombie 

42) Sports

Is It Something in the Air

Things are still going well with my new Boy Toy. We briefly discussed what asinine name he’d like until we feel like discussing ‘where this is going.’ He liked the ring of Boy Toy and it’s slightly more personal than New Guy. That is going really well much to my surprise. It even inspired me to wear flying pig earrings this weekend.

He joined me for lunch with my BFF and her new guy. BFF met her guy at a con a while back and they just started dating. Somehow lunch turned into brunch and my flying pig earrings were even more fitting. I’m a deeply cynical, sarcastic person. HTF did I end up on a brunch double date? I don’t even like brunch! 

One of my BFF's friends who I’ve met a few times has been with her boyfriend for around a year. He dragged his feet about making it official but since he has things have been rainbows and kittens. They’re officially in love. I’m sure she’s losing her mind.

Is there something in the air right now? It’s really weird that this much relationship happiness is going around. It’s even weirder that I’m a part of it.

Music: True Love by P!nk feat. Lily Rose Cooper

Rush Hour Revelation

I am still dating the fellow from Is It Just Us. Some of my friends have met him and like him. I like him. Things have been going well and the outlook is favorable. 

My friend said I was "in the throes of new relationship." The definition of 'being in the throes of' equates the experience with pain, suffering, and other forms of discomfort. That wasn't true until today.

Today I actually read my Groupon/Living Social emails and saw something for the Crime & Punishment museum. I bought thinking it would be something fun New Guy and I could do together. I texted him about another thing that sounded fun. Then I remembered something important.

Every Groupon/Living Social I've bought because it would be a fun date has outlived whatever relationship I was in. This has been true for the last three men I've dated. Commence the 'I just jinxed this' freak out.

Other than some standard over-thinking, I've been able to relax, have fun, and enjoy this experience. Yesterday I was fine and sending flirty texts and getting equally flirty responses. Today I'm going to get my oil changed with dread nestled comfortably in the pit of my stomach.

I knew I carried some scars but sitting in my car I thought "Wow. I am messed up." Just because you're over someone doesn't mean you're over what they did to you. I've been treated so poorly, had my heart kicked around, made to believe I wasn't special with such regularity that those cracks ran deeper than I thought.

I switched from my upbeat driving playlist to a playlist I knew would have Farther Down by Neon Trees. The song that came on right after that? The Only Exception by Paramore. This is probably my favorite love song and I don't like love songs.

Out of a 500 song playlist, that song is the one that comes on. I'm taking it as a sign that I need to not be so paranoid. This could be good for me. I'm not reading anything beyond that.

I'm sure New Guy would find it funny if I tell him this right way. He doesn't know all the crappy things various ex-boyfriends have done. I think he would be shocked to learn half of it. I'm not sure if, when, and how much he needs to know. Anything he finds out will be a little bit at a time.

Music: Break In by Halestorm