It's Everywhere

Love. It’s everywhere. I’ve been seeing a lot of other couples while out and about. It seems like people are marrying and getting engaged left and right. I’m also seeing more of other couples closer to home.

Marianne regularly gushes about how wonderful her life is with her wonderful boyfriend and how just talking about it gives her “pudding face.”

Molly has been dating someone who bases his relationship behavior on what he’s seen in romantic movies. They talk all the time and when they’re around each other they have a hard time not being adorable to the point of distraction. He’s incredibly kind and attentive.

Wickham was a notorious ladies man with no apparent interest in settling down. He started dating someone around April. They just got engaged. A mutual friend says he’s been talking about proposing for months.

Combining this with lack of sleep has lead to unproductive thoughts: Am I doing this wrong? Should I be more gushy and smitten?

I think I’m falling prey to a social media trap. Someone shows their relationship as perfect as it can possibly be on social media. You feel lame because you’re not that gushy, romantic, or twitterpated. The reality you’re not seeing is that their relationship is just as unremarkable as yours.

Add in the fact that women have been conditioned by various forms of media since we were small that love and relationships consist of unrealistic melodrama. Being aware of this phenomenon doesn’t make me immune to it.

Boy Toy is also very reserved. Because I’m very open, I can’t fully understand what’s going on in his head. It’d be nice if he was a bit more expressive. He’s admitted he’d like to be and he’s gotten better but it’s a process. From what he’s told me, his family would be surprised with how open he is with me.

Let’s combine this with the work stress we both have. His is because he’s going between projects while trying to get a security clearance. Mine is because of a variety of reasons best not detailed in a public forum. I think I’d be more excited about us if I was more excited about life in general.

And the most important point: Never compare relationships. Everyone is different and has different needs and expectations. No one’s relationship is made better by comparing or competing.

I could never date Molly’s boyfriend. I dated a guy who was attentive and super-affectionate and I felt smothered. No matter how wonderful Marianne's boyfriend is, no one is perfect. I'm sure in the year+ they've been together, he's done something to tick her off and it hasn't made Facebook. When I told a friend who had seen Wickham in action about his engagement she said “I wonder if she’s pregnant.” Leopards can change their spots but other animals in the jungle are usually skeptical.

Just writing that last paragraph has made me feel better. I’m happy everyone is happy. I wish everyone on the best. Boy Toy and I will never be super romantic because it’s just not us. Maybe we’ll get annoyingly adorable after more time has passed and maybe we’ll save the gushiness for each other

Music: Daylight Matt & Kim