Watching various friends
and Facebook acquaintances pair off or upgrade their relationships, has gotten
me thinking.
I knew a girl, Courtney,
a couple of years ago who got a serious boyfriend. Whenever you got her or the boyfriend
alone, they were cool individuals and you could get a sense of them as a
person. But put them together and you couldn’t get to know either of them. They
were so wrapped up in each other they stopped being individuals and became some
super-couple.
I’ve watched friends
fall crazy stupid in love. One friend, Carrie, did it with a guy we all barely
tolerated. He wasn’t especially nice or likeable and we all knew she could have
done better. She was so crazy about him we were afraid to be honest with how we
felt until it was over. An old high school friend regularly gushes about how her
perfect fiancee is just like Prince Charming. A lot.
Kelly Clarkson seems to
have hopped on this bandwagon as well. One of the songs from her Christmas
album is called subtitled Brandon’s Song and another is called 4 carats. In an
award acceptance speech she talked about her wonderful fiancée and her last
single is Tie It Up about them tying the knot. From the outside, she appears to
be over the moon head over heels crazy stupid in love.
I lost my ability to
adore the person I was with so completely you ignored major flaws after my
college relationship ended. The relationship was deeply flawed but I didn’t
want to see it for a long time. I forwent so many social activities for him
that I didn’t have much waiting for when it all ended.
Since then I’ve had
trouble understanding the women who make their relationship their center and their everything. I’m curious about
women whose quest for love drives them because frankly, I don’t get it.
I’ve had more than my
college relationship put a damper on my idea of happily ever after. As much as
I adore The Boy, I don’t see myself ever being completely over the moon head
over heels shout it from the rooftops can I get an amen crazy stupid in love. I’d
like to understand that feeling and mentality better.
I know the root varies
from woman to woman. Some women have marriage as a life goal to the point where
the groom is a placeholder, not a complete person. Other women are desperate to
be loved or hate being single and seek a relationship for validation. Some
women just love with their whole selves and either lack the fear of rejection
or won’t be ruled by it. Others subscribe to the soul mate theory.
I’m curious to find out
about the psychology behind women in relationships and the social expectation.
Where does the Prince Charming ideal come from and why are we so keen to hang
on to it? How can someone be hopelessly in love while the other person is just
fond of them? What is going on in the brain that lets love and obsession happen?
Where is the line between love, infatuation, and obsession and how does it get
crossed?
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